The Recovery
by calliope-may
Summary: When Jane is badly shot, its all Maura can do to offer her help and home. After all what are friends for? The two explore their unique relationship and confront demons of the past together, as the trauma changes both women's future. Eventual Rizzles. Prompts welcome, see bio.
1. Chapter 1

**The Recovery.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

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><p><strong>Chapter one: Bang Bang<strong>

Well, this sucks.

Jane Rizzoli felt nothing but the pain. Long mighty waves of agony crashed into her shaking her form, emanating from her chest. Warmth spread rapidly throughout her body, she remained completely unaware the source was her own crimson blood seeping from various escapes and along the cold concrete as if to comfort her shivering figure. Her breathing was raspy, laboured and made difficult by the heavy weight that seemed to be crushing her lungs, making respiration seem far too much effort. Her cranium had slammed on impact with the pavement, the pain agitated more by the gun shot reverberating round her skull, tangling any coherent thoughts previously there into cruel mocking gibberish of a person clinging to consciousness

She was going to say it, she really was, and now she was going to die

_I love you. _

She forced the words to shine through the chaos.

She smiled to herself, too crushed by pain and confusion to know whether the words were spoken aloud or not, let alone whether they reached the intended recipient of the statement. Content she had finally admitted what had been eating her, the voices hushed and she heard a single cry before succumbing to the darkness.

Maura witnessed everything. The devilish sleek black weapon pulled from a back pocket, the deafening blast of the gun, and the blurred bodies of Korsak and Frost as they tackled the monster to the ground. She was in a parallel world where the impossible happened and horrific scenes played out in slow motion in front of her eyes. She saw it all and registered nothing. Nothing but Jane falling.

An alien, strangled cry ripped from her throat, not reaching her ear drums that could register no new information, so settled on replays of the gun shot, again and again and again. As the heartbroken wail ceased her world shifted back to real speed hitting play on a remote.

It had only been seconds, Jane still stood a chance. Maura skidded to her knees on the gravel. She was numb from adrenaline and didn't notice her sliced skin. Her blood dripped mixing with Jane's growing pool.

_Shit, Shit, Shit._

She swore she saw the detective smile at her uncharacteristic cursing. Determined that wouldn't be the last time, she viscously swiped at the tears flowing down her face and took in Jane's injuries as a physician.

She ignored Jane's quivering form and focused on the facts. Ballistic Trauma. Single laceration to upper right chest cavity, single bullet wound, exit wound evident, and missed any major organs or blood vessels…_But there is so much blood! _A voice squealed in her head until it was silenced by the doctor that possessed her crouching form again. She was currently most at risk of excess air in the chest cavity leading to one or both lungs to collapse, and excess blood loss, with the potential to go into hypovolemic shock. They needed an ambulance- now.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Recovery**

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><p><strong>Chapter two: Do Something.<strong>

_They needed an ambulance- now._

She yelled to Korsak.

'One is already on its way Doc, how is she doing?' Maura leant over Jane's form, unfazed now by her state or the pool of blood she was perched in, she reached for the gloves in her lab coat, not bothering to put them on, but protecting the wound from the icy air that threatened to infiltrate her body and keep the crimson liquid inside her as best she could, purely on auto pilot, she flipped Jane into the recovery position, all the while packing the wound- attempting to remember back to her residency when she worked with live patients. After checking Jane's breathing, airways and pulse she felt a rush of relief to know that Jane was _still_ a living patient, if only barely.

She didn't allow her self to crumble into the emotional-wreck witness to a crime until Jane whisked away in a blur of blue lights and sirens wailing. She received a police escort to the hospital and broke down in the car. Many times Jane had hijacked the vehicle in order to make lunch reservations and faster coffee runs, much to Maura's scolding. Her sobs shook her tiny frame, threatening to cause permanent damage.

Part of her was angry when the paramedics got there, snatching Jane from under her. She didn't like submitting control of such a precious life, leaving the fate of her heartbeat in someone else's gloved hands, under someone else's scalpel. Jane was such a huge part of her; her best friend, her only true family, and the most important person in her life. On second thoughts Maura realised a much larger part- the sane part, of her brain was angry with herself.

Maura flashed back to how tempting it had been to give in to the hysteria, how much she wanted to let go and be the sobbing witness or distraught family member. How she had to fight every nerve in her body that needed nothing more than to release the wound and cradle Jane in her arms and whisper reassurance in her ear. She never understood before, why people did this after a trauma instead of doing everything in their power to prevent or delay such a torturous outcome. She didn't know how much longer she could have lasted before the temptation became too great and the emotion too crushing. They were both saved by the howling sirens, knowing she couldn't live with herself had anything happened to Jane.

She remembered back further: this had been why she became a medical professional in the first place, to turn 'Trauma victims' back into people and to help the families racing in ambulances and pacing in waiting rooms. This was of course before she was aware of her adverse to the living and horrific bed side manner, due to terrible social awareness, and way before she found her rightful place as Boston PD's Chief Medical Examiner. She was always so sure it was the right choice, she now helped the victims left behind, gave whatever closure possible to family members and prevented evil prevailing. Though all her previous reasons were suddenly over shadowed by the huge amount of prestige she felt for the person saving Jane. God help them if they fail. She was putting all her trust in someone else's scalpel, who knows what she would do with hers if Jane died.

Her crazy morbid ranting came to a halt as they screeched to a standstill outside the hospital doors, with the deepest breath her lungs could supply, she ran inside.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Recovery.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: She Lives<strong>

Ouch. Jane felt like she had been hit by a bus. She attempted to lift her head- _make that a tank_. She exhaled carefully, and willed her exhausted lungs not to collapse as she turned her head to inhale the clean, clinical smell of the pillow-case her head was rested on- it definitely wasn't hers and she knew it wasn't Maura's, as the lavender scent wasn't lingering as usual. She beckoned each of her senses to follow her brain's lead and awake from its slumber. Her right hand enclosed around starchy, crisp sheets and her left was encased in something warm and soft. Her ears suddenly felt left out as she zoned into a conversation in mid-flow.

'…Doctor Isles-' a timid voice continued whatever they had been discussing,

_Maura?_

'I asked for an update an hour ago, what is taking so long?' the female's voice interrupted.

_Can't be Maura- too snappy_, Jane thought as she continued

'Have you got her CT results?'

_Okay, so I'm in a hospital. Fantastic. That would explain the mind numbing pain and the weird smelling bed linen. Don't panic._

'They are inconclusive...' the male voice whimpered, clearly apologising for not pleasing the intimidating beauty. 'But the surgery was a success' Jane exhaled heavily with relief but neither body in the room noticed.

'I believe it can only be classified as a success when the patient wakes up!'

_I'm working on it! _

All pleasantries had gone out of the window after day one. By day three Maura's worry and sleep deprivation prevented her usual impeccable manners.

'Without a thorough neurological exam and conclusive CT results, there is no way of determining whether or not the swelling in her brain has had any lasting effects' Maura snapped, completely unabashed by her bluntness, the haziness in her vision through exhaustion was coaxing her on.

_My Head?_ Jane eased her head slowly toward the voices and felt the fire in the back of her cranium from hitting the concrete. _Yep, that hurts._

'The morphine should have eased the pain enough for her to wake up.'

_Christ, imagine how I would feel without it._

'Listen, _doctor_' she snapped, dripping with acidity 'I have more PHDs and recommendations than you can count and...'

A small husky laugh escaped from Jane's dry throat at Maura's new found temper, unusually either non-existent or buried beneath so many levels of social correctness and niceties that it eventually lost meaning. The room fell silent as the last of Jane's senses awoke and she opened her eyes.

'Jane!' the medical examiner exclaimed and let out a long sigh of relief as hazy chocolate eyes met hazel-green, lined with dark circles as opposed to fancy makeup. She smiled at the way Maura said her name, every ounce of anger she felt toward the incompetent doctor swept clear from her body.

'Detective Rizzoli, you are in Boston Central hospital, you-'

'I can take it from here Doc, thanks.' Maura cut him off curtly, not once taking her eyes from the brown orbs that locked hers as the highly qualified 3rd year resident scampered from the room without argument, retreating as if from a headmistresses office after a scolding.

'Maura…' Jane croaked out, testing her vocal chords. She coughed lightly in attempted to clear the sleep from her trachea and tried again 'they are going to find him it sobbing in a supply closet somewhere'

Maura laughed brightly and Jane's insides flipped at the noise causing her to take a deep inhale at the sensation. Maura immediately mistook the noise for pain and launched into medical mode, pressing her hands gently against Jane's gown-clad torso, releasing pressure when Jane gasped again. Jane distracted herself as Maura's delicate fingers danced over her wrist to check her pulse. She took the opportunity to take in the doctors dishevelled appearance properly. The normally impeccable hair, trained into loose waves to frame her strong stunning features looked greasy and matted, scraped back into a low pony-tail. Upon closer inspection Jane realised that the slightly-oversized jeans and shirt the ME was wearing was in fact from her own wardrobe. The doctor's superficial perfection was gone, but her beauty still shook Jane like a freight-train.

'Maura?'

'Hmm?'

'I'm fine, stop doctoring me.' The professional Maura paused momentarily assuring itself that Jane wasn't going to spontaneously fit and go into cardiac arrest. She slumped back in her chair, left hand still intertwined with the detective, seeming incredibly reluctant to let go.

'What happened to me?'


	4. Chapter 4

**The Recovery.**

**Disclaimer: Just double checked in case… but I most certainly don't own anything except for dreamy Dr Matthews.**

**I re-did this chapter, so this is a new and improved edition.**

**A/N: Hey y'all, I'm working on longer chapters. Thank you again for the reviews, especially Harrytoad for being awesome and helping out the new kid, if you haven't read 'Slow Burn to Happiness' then you need to, like now.. **

**Oh there is a lot of dialogue in this chapter, I apologise but I find there isn't much else Jane can do from a hospital bed, won't be much longer.**

**Thanks again and HAPPY EASTER! (for yesterday)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Piecing together<strong>

_"What happened to me?"_

Maura sighed, clearly knowing this question would come sooner or later, she sucked in a breath and steadied herself before continuing, knowing she had to phrase this correctly to reduce the risk of Jane suffering serious panic over the events that her mind had evidently supressed.

"I don't know where to start?" She admitted.

"The beginning is always good" The still foggy detective joked and squeezed her hand gently.

"How much do you remember?" Maura asked slowly, knowing it was better for Jane's psyche to try and suss things out herself. She waited for her to collect and arrange her thoughts from the jumble inside her skull into coherent, chronological events.

"The Johnson case?" Maura nodded in encouragement and Jane continued, "Standard mugging-gone-wrong case, turned multi-million drug bust, Johnson was just really unlucky." Maura found herself entranced as she watched the variety of expressions that danced across the detectives beautiful features as she logged her thoughts.

"We were following up a lead downtown from an anonymous tip-off. At first we thought it was nothing, the location was empty, cleared out months ago... I was coming to meet you by the car to go to dinner when I heard a gun shot… I took out my gun and headed round the corner. I told you to call-in to Frost and Korsak, they were still finishing up in the warehouse…" Jane visibly wilted from the amount of energy the memory was sucking from her and faltered, clearly frustrated that her keen mind had failed her. Maura smiled softly and continued the story.

"...You went to the car lot by the warehouse, I called Vince and Barry and they were going to back you up… I had a bad feeling and followed, just to tell you they were on their way and not to do anything hasty…" The doctor's carefully controlled emotions started to slip as she re-called the events from 3 nights earlier, when she had almost lost Jane.

"You were talking to someone across the lot. It was dark and he was behind the cars… I didn't see him at first. You were obviously angry but something was stopping you moving." The doctor sped up, as if eager to get to the end before breaking down.

"I saw your gun by your right foot and you kicked it under a van nearby. You took a couple of steps back as he advanced. From what I could see he was a tall, musclucar male. Though his face was mostly concealed by a hooded jumper. Then I saw his gun…" She sucked in a deep breath, _stay strong you idiot._

"Clearly whatever you were saying had an effect on him, he seemed anxious and kept looking around as if he knew back-up was coming. You were successfully distracting him, until you looked around and saw me... You were frozen Jane, clearly weighing up how best to prevent him harming me." Quiet sobs lined the rest of the story as she struggled to stay calm. "He heard Frost and Korsak, and you were distracted." She breathed out harshly. "...And then he shot you." She almost whispered as if the words caused her actual pain. She absentmindedly traced the bandaged shoulder the bullet ripped through, not making eye contact and focused instead on the bleep of Jane's heart monitor, hearing the tempo increase with her words like a song nearing climax.

"Korsak and Frost detained him. I attempted to control the bleeding until the ambulance arrived. You needed surgery to repair the tendons in the shoulder and prevent long-term damage. I have been stealing your charts and x-rays and completely abusing my privileges at this hospital to prevent you becoming subject to modern residents idiocy." Jane couldnt help but grin at the last part as Maura lightened the mood, and brushed the single tear that had fallen from the doctor's eyes.

"And?" She now did the encouraging as she urged the doctor to finish.

"The doctors seem convinced you will be fine, but Jane-"

"Nuh-uh. Don't 'But Jane' me, I am alive."

"…In _hospital_, because I distracted you."

"_Alive_, in hospital, because you saved my life Maura." With great effort battling her screaming muscles she tilted her chin until their eyes finally met and continued "Thanks for that." Maura gave in and laughed, swiping all moisture from her eyes.

"Im supposed to comfort you!" she silently cursed the tears that fell.

"Yeah well, I feel calmer than I have in a long time." Jane answered sincerly, entwining their fingers together reassuringly. "What happened to the guy? Has he been identified?"

"Yes Frost and Korsak have him in custody now, they _assume_ he is linked to the case, but it hasn't been confirmed and we cant assume anything, after all you have antagonised many threatening people in your career Jane" Maura joked darkly.

"Don't I know it, I can't wait to have a nice chat with the bastard myself… Oh and nice clothes by the way, are they Chanel?"

"Hardly." She glanced down at the very un-her-like items she was sporting and grinned "They are 100% Rizzoli, I got your mother to bring extra when she brought up your things."

"You wouldn't even leave my bedside to retrieve your curling iron and Jimmy Choo's? Well hell you must love me!"

"You've got that right." Maura said lightly, but with stern eyes, hinting at a different tone. Jane yawned involuntarily.

"Get some sleep." The doctor commanded softly.

"By the sounds of it, that's all I have done for 3 days."

"Give your body a chance to re-boot naturally before I call the nurses back and knock you into a morphine-induced coma so deep you wont know a blunt-force trauma from a bullet wound."

"Doctor Isles, was that a joke?" Letting out a deep husky chuckle and feeling the pain was worth it to see Maura's expression lighten, comforted by the sound.

"Only if it was funny." The doctor replied as she laughed too.

"Seriously though; sleep. I will be here when you wake up."

And the last thing Detective Rizzoli recalled was feeling the Doctors soft lips on the now strong and steady pulse in her wrist, and a squeeze of there entwined fingers before sinking deep into the pillow and dreaming of lavender.

###

Jane awoke for a second time to early morning sun streaming through the white slanted blinds into her hospital room. This simple act caused arrays of fantastic patterns of warm light to criss-cross from floor to ceiling, amusing her sluggish brain as it reluctantly awoke.

She inhaled her surroundings and sighed. Her eyes swept the room and fell upon the honey-haired beauty asleep and suppressed a laugh. The usually picture-perfect doctor had finally given in to the exhaustion that had been hanging over her head like a dark rain-cloud; relentlessly tugging on her eyelids in a desperate attempt to give her body a well-deserved rest. She had managed to resist any more than a couple of stolen hours here and there until she was reassured Jane was safe. Seeking comfort in Jane's eyes, she crashed hard. Her slight body slumped in the chair and her head used Jane's sterile mattress and her own arm as a pillow. Jane's insides fluttered as her eyes found their still locked fingers and the content look on the M.E's face.

Blaming her uncharacteristic actions on her fatigue-riddled mind, she raised her trembling free hand and softly brushed a rogue honey strand behind her ear. The movements were involuntary as her hand lightly caressed the beautiful features of the doctor and stroked the full soft lips. She sighed and withdrew the wandering appendage and rolled over, hopelessly trying to stifle the unnatural back flips her stomach was performing.

_Maura Isles is your friend, your best friend that saved your life. Although the admiration you feel toward her is understandable, gratitude is no excuse to stroke her face_. She scolded her self in her best Maura tone and tried to snub the sarcastic voice in the back of her mind; _Gratitude? Sure _that's_ it._

###

Maura woke with a start to the sound of a shot echoing in the recesses of her mind, shaking her from otherwise restful dreams. She straightened immediately in the hard hospital chair and shuddered lightly before stretching. Her eyes found the sleeping detective and reached for her long slender fingers and smiled when the still sleeping Jane reacted by curling their digits together. Maura steadied her breathlessness the dream had left her with by watching Jane's chest rise and fall steadily; she absentmindedly drew circles with her thumb around the raised scars in Jane's palm.

She noticed an updated chart at the bottom of her bed_. I must have been asleep; they wouldn't dare touch her had I been conscious. _She laughed under her breath so as not to wake the raven-haired beauty before her; Jane however reacted to the sound as if it was directed straight at her and smiled.

"Something funny Doc?" The gravelly voice mocked.

"Morning drowsy head." Maura retrieved the file from the bottom of the bed, ensuring their hands stayed linked, something about being connected to Jane reassured her. _She is fine, but if you continue to act strangely, she is going to think _you_ aren't._

Her hands reacted to the voice in her head and she slowly withdrew her grasp, feigning that she needed the hand to turn the page.

'Sleepy head Maura.' Jane corrected, softly shaking her head.

'No, I believe what you are currently experiencing is drug-induced drowsiness.'

Jane propped herself up in bed, trying to suppress a wince. _This whole agonising pain thing is getting old._

"...Jane?" Maura said again and waved her hand in front of her wandering gaze until she snapped out of her stupor. "Did you hear me? Your CT is clear; I imagine you will get discharged today!"

"Right you are Doctor Isles," A British accent broke the atmosphere "...But I do believe that's my line." Maura stood quickly, and passed over the file to the handsome doctor leaning against the door frame. A scarlet blush flooded down her cheeks and she dropped her gaze, clearly regaining her social correctness when Jane regained her consciousness. Jane noted her embarrassment and took over.

"Believe me doctor; she is more than qualified to deliver the news. Even if she doesn't still work here." Jane joked.

"No doubt, your Doctor Isles is a legend round these parts. She performed her first autopsy in just over an hour, the rest of the interns either stared in awe or puked in the waste bin, depending on the strength of their stomachs…I am Dr David Matthews, honour to meet you." He reached forward to shake Maura's hand.

"Thank you!" Maura graciously accepted the compliments and brushed them off modestly "I'm sure I would have remembered you if you were on my rotation, how did you know?"

"As I said, you went down in the history books Doctor! Too bad we lost you to the land of the dead." They both laughed together and Jane sat stewing in between the friendly exchange.

"So… can _one_ of you two high professionals tell me what's up so I can go home?"

"Take it away Doctor" Maura flashed her 100 kilowatt smile and challenged the attending that was suddenly in the spotlight.

"Don't mind if I do, the bullet infiltrated the upper right chest cavity, shattering two ribs and tearing tissue and tendons along the way, however it missed any major arteries and all major organs, and the damage was repaired in surgery as you know. The shot was a through-and-through so we currently haven't seen the bullet, but judging by Doctor Isles' perceptive eye, and the shape and size of the wound we have concluded it is most likely to have been a .22 bullet, fired from a small pistol."

"Woah-woah, rewind. I was shot and hospitalised for 4 days by a _purse-pistol_?" the embarrassment swept over her face, _The guys are going to eat me alive._ The only lady on the force, left in a comatose state by the daintiest gun on the market. How ironic.

"Yes- but it is classically used for self defence. You must have intimidated him?" Maura offered lightly, trying to protect the detectives wounded ego.

"If anyone asks it was a high-velocity 500 S&W Magnum." Jane shot back, clearly mortified.

"Please don't even joke about it, you were lucky!" Maura said firmly, swatting Jane's arm. Doctor Matthews watched the exchange carefully before jumping in.

"If it helps, I think the gangster using the purse-pistol is making more of a statement about himself?" Maura chuckled beside her making Jane's fists clench around the strerile fabric cacooning her body.

"There is also your head, the CT showed mild swelling of the brain from hitting the pavement however that has subsided now giving us a clear picture, no bleeds or serious damage, just slight cranial bruising that should heal on its own, I have prescribed daily dose of pain-killers to try and ease some of the discomfort and you will need weekly check-ups to assess your injuries, Other than that you are all ready to go!" Jane couldn't help but smile at the ME's triumphant expression and revelled in the thought of leaving the white room- disinfected of colour or character.

"I know you are keen to go so I will give you today's medication and send the rest to prevent you waiting, the address listed is 52 Woodland Drive, is that correct?" Jane was confused, that was Maura's address? Before she could reply the blonde jumped in.

"That's right doctor, thank you for everything." she smiled again and shook the doctor's hand. Jane suppressed a growl as the young doctor reluctantly released Maura's hand and plainly checked her out before meeting Jane's dark eyes and scarpering. Jane propped herself up and studied the ME's expression.

"Errmm Maura, I know I was in a coma and everything but I'm fairly sure that's not where I live?" Maura tutted, seemingly oblivious of the attention from the other PHD.

"You weren't in a coma Jane, let's not exaggerate. You were in a medically induced unconscious state after major surgery to prevent excess brain swelling or extensive use of healing muscles. And you didn't think I would let you go home right?"

"Maura you have already done so much, I couldn't ask you to babysit me, I am more than capable-"

"Let's put it this way, your mother isn't at my house and you know she will move into yours throughout your whole recovery." This stopped Jane in her tracks as she weighed up the options of inconveniencing Maura, or having her mother inflicted upon her after major surgery. Maura watched Jane's internal struggle as it flashed through her features and smiled, she expected Jane to resist at first as she hated being a burden, but knew she would give in eventually.

"Having my mother there would certainly speed up my recovery; I would be so desperate to get her out."

"That you would go and do more damage? I wouldn't dream of it."

Jane groaned, partly because she knew Maura's hazel eyes would watch her like a hawk, and partly at the prospect of living under the same roof as the doctor for any length of time. She new from experience she could barely trust said wandering appendage on the many sleepovers they shared when one was too tired to drive home after a night in.

"I will order ESPN?" Maura offered, as Jane broke down in a laugh too low to be considered a giggle like Maura's.

"You got yourself a deal Doc."

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><p><strong>AN: Who could possibly say no to that? Just wanted to apologise to any doctors/gun experts that I may have offended as I am most definitely neither, all information was kindly supplied by Google, let me know what you think!**

**C x**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Recovery.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Let's Escape<strong>

"MY BABY!" Angela Rizzoli's bellow echoed down the white corridor, effectively ending the effortless conversation between the detective and doctor. Moments later Jane was smothered in a huge bear-hug being littered with kisses.

"Oh god, cummon Ma- get offa me!" Jane grumbled against her mother, almost blacking out from the pain, but grinning despite herself.

"How dare you wake up without me?" Her mother scolded. "And why wasn't I told?" She looked around, as if trying to find someone to blame before squeezing her daughter again.

"There is no valid excuse, sincerest apologies… Ma. Cant. Breath." Maura laughed at the exchange and the panicked look Jane flashed over her mother's shoulder. She lightly pried at Angela's arms to release the death grip she had on her child.

"Oh good morning Maura dear!"

"Morning Angela, did you sleep better last night?"

"Much better, I followed all your anxiety relief tips." The ME smiled and poked a straw through an orange juice box and passed it to Jane.

"So thoughtful!" The older Rizzoli beamed. "This woman is a god sent!"

_Don't I know it._

Jane settled comfortably, sipping juice. _So these two are acting cosy, what happened over the past 3 days?_

"So Ma, when did you get here?" Jane started.

"When did I get here she asks!" Angela exclaimed dramatically and looked set for a rant before actually taking in her daughters dishevelled appearance and softening completely.

"I haven't really left honey, accept on all of the errands Maura had me run for you…"

Jane saw the devious smile that complimented the blush spreading down Maura's defined cheekbones.

"_You're welcome._" The ME mouthed.

Although Maura adored the older Rizzoli, the multicoloured spectrum of hysteria Angela unleashed was too much. Already clinging to sanity and consciousness and not wanting to release frustrations on a worried parent, Maura shamelessly sent her on fruitless tasks to keep the woman's scatterbrain busy and to prevent the crushing bear-hug being Jane's first hello.

"…I stayed the first night and offered to stay the second but Maura said she had it covered, and someone had to feed your brother…" The woman sped up in sudden fear she hadn't done enough when Jane covered her hands with her own.

"Thank you Ma, I truly appreciate it." Jane said sincerly when Angela began to get teary.

"Speaking of the incapable man-child..." Jane continued.

"Is that my cue?" Frankie Rizzoli replied grinning from where he had been hovering at the door way.

"Steal my mother away from my death bed because you can't turn on an oven?"

"Hey, Tuesday Gnocchi-night is a well honoured Rizzoli tradition that couldn't be sacrificed, plus she was going crazy just sitting here, you know she cooks when she gets nervous!" Frankie defended.

"_She_ is right here, and your sister has a point. You should learn to cook or find a good woman that will do it for you!" Angela jumped in.

"Yeah!" Jane retorted childishly making Maura giggle.

"Your Brother also has a point though Janie, I was going a little loony staring at your heart monitor, I don't know how Maura did it for 3 days straight!"

"Luckily Jane has been given the go-ahead and she is being discharged later today, should we get some coffee and I can re-cap the doctors notes?" Maura offered. Angela beamed and led the way. The ME paused briefly, eying Jane as if trying to reassure herself she wasn't going to spontaneously burst into flames, before finally following.

"How you feeling sis?" Frankie enveloped his sister in a long hug.

"Like I wrestled Uncle Al for the remote."

"Ouch…that bad? You don't know pain till you've got 350 pounds of sweaty italian pressed on your intestines." They laughed together. "I'm glad you are feeling better though, you had us all terrified."

"I hate to think what Ma has been like!"

"Yeah, she was pretty bad, but she really had nothing on Maura. I think that's the first time she has left this room in 4 days" Frankie gestured toward the door the ME just left through. "…Other than to steal charts and hunt down doctors. Between you being all unconscious and Maura genuinely lookin' like doctor death, we were all scared to stay for too long." Frankie chuckled at his own joke and Jane shook her head at the image.

"So what, she hasn't been home at all?" Frankie shook his head, looking a lot like his sister.

"Nope, she wouldn't let anyone near you after the operation unless she watched like a hawk. She had the most Senior Attendings trembling."

"_My_ Maura? As in harmless, spouts useless facts about algae, Maura?" Jane gawped in disbelief.

"Yep, I think seeing it happen really shook her Janie- Me, Ma, Korsak and Frost all visited everyday and tried to help, but she had everything covered. We couldn't do anything but watch."

"Little bit creepy Junior." Jane joked. "And for the love of god- QUIT calling me Janie!" She threw a weak punch at her brothers arm that he rubbed away dramatically. Laughing together and suddenly aware they were in a hospital, the conversation dissipated into sport talk and light banter.

###

"Okay you are all set!" The overly-enthusiastic nurse had began to irritate Maura as she flitted around the room like a house fly. "Can I just say Miss Isles, I think it is simply amazing you are taking in Miss Rizzoli like this." Maura waited for Jane to make some sarcastic comment about not being a stray puppy.

"_Doctor_ Isles." The husky voice corrected lightly, purposefully void of emotion as she struggled to get her shoes on. Maura smiled at Jane's apparent fondness of her title as she went to assist her.

"Right, I am sorry, I am truly a huge fan of your work." The girl dramatically scolded her self_. Kiss ass. _

"I just wish I had friends like you Maura" Jane raised her eyebrows at the girls jump to first name bases. _Get me out of here, they are worst than the perps._ Between snooty staff and flirtatious doctors, Jane had had enough. _Emmitting that level of perkiness must be exhausting, hope she warmed up.._ Jane zoned out as the nurse kept whittering on. _God does she want me to punch her?_

"Time to go?" Maura suggested eagerly, deflecting the nurse's comments with a polite smile and reached for the prescription order and recovery outline so Jane could sign.

"Jesus Maura, six-to-eight month's recovery?"

"At least."

"How long are you planning on 'taking me in'"

'Until I think you are better.' Jane was about to protest again when a delicate finger was placed over her lips, immediately silencing her and sending shivers vibrating down her spine.

"Hush... Now that's a good detective." Nurse Smiley looked awkward throughout the private exchange and coughed loudly to break the chocolate-hazel gaze between the two, clearly irritated she wasn't being thanked for her hospitality. Maura's hand dropped and both heads snapped round to give a poisonous glare before she slunk out of the room muttering goodbyes.

"I am impressed Maura, that's at least two members of staff you have traumatised."

"Maybe I'm not myself yet, I desperately need a shower and a decent meal." All coherent thoughts paused at the thought of Maura dripping and steamy-

"Jane? You worry me when you slip out of lucidity like that, it could indicate deeper brain damage…" Jane snapped out of her prohibited thoughts when Maura waved a hand in front of her face.

"Its called day-dreaming Maura and it could indicate a lack of decent night-dreaming." Jane recovered and mentally scolded her runaway thoughts, feeling the hot blush flood down her cheeks. _What the hell was that?_

"You're right, let's get you home to rest." Although still concerned, Maura collected Jane's things in one arm and with the other, hoisted Jane into the wheelchair with suprising strength. "...But you are aware 'night-dream' isn't the correct terminology? Though the concept of dreaming is one I find fascinating-"

"Oh this should be fun!"


	6. Chapter 6

**The Recovery**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6: Home sweet Home.<strong>

The drive back was short and sweet; the banter continued as Jane was eased into her chair and wheeled round the front of the house.  
>"I am not an invalid Maura, if I have to put up with this chair then at least let me wheel the damn thing."<br>"Where is the fun in that?" Maura put on the break and crouched down slightly below Jane's eye line, blazing into her with huge pleading eyes through thick eyelashes. 'Now, let me take care of you.'  
>"Never." Jane responded weakly, as if she was protesting giving up information under interrogation.<br>"Pretty please?" She batted those lashes shamelessly and grinned up at the detective, whose insides were turning liquid, holding her gaze firmly and daring her to argue. Jane broke.  
>"Fine." She muttered and Maura laughed again.<p>

_This woman will be the death of me_. Jane sighed as she elegantly stood to wheel Jane round the corner. Jane once again hated the way her body reacted to the doctor's laugh.  
>"Its very rarely I get live patients" The shorter one pondered out loud.<br>"That's reassuring… Maura, what the hell?" Jane exclaimed in surprise as the ramp leading up the stairs to Maura's porch became visible.  
>"Language Jane... and what, did you expect to fly?" She ignored Jane's protests, and laughed at her own whit. She sympathised to some degree as she knew how much Jane hated being taken care of. She effortlessly pushed Jane up the ramp whilst juggling 3 bags gracefully.<br>"I'm never mocking your yoga again; you have crazy upper body strength…"

Maura wrestled with her flashy-but-practical Prada handbag to retrieve the keys that had buried themselves at the bottom before wheeling her through the huge front door and into the lavish entrance hall. Jane inhaled surroundings that were so very Maura and automatically relaxed. Maura rarely had guests, let alone family visits, but the huge house had huge potential to be an idyllic family home. It reflected the doctor perfectly, the ideal balance between class, intelligence and warmth. Jane's eyes panned the various knick-knacks the honey-blonde had collected on her travels around the world and she once again began to illustrate the stories behind every artefact that whispered the history of the ME's life. She wheeled herself into the spacious living room.  
>"I'm just going to put your things in the guest bedroom, do you need anything?"<br>"Oh god Maura, I just don't think I can be alone right now…" Jane began sarcastically.  
>"Right, how ignorant of me. Trauma victims often have a connection to close friends shortly after the crime and feel at unease when left alone as a consequence, leading to increased blood pressure, dizziness-" Jane brought her rant an abrupt halt as she couldn't contain the laughter bubbling in reaction to the genius doctors obliviousness.<br>"Maura…"  
>"Oh, sarcasm?"<br>"Yes" She said, still laughing.  
>"Other people wouldn't put up with your sardonic abuse. I hope that hurts." Maura indicated to Jane's arm dramatically clutching her side to stifle to waves of pain racking her slim frame before leaving. "Make yourself comfortable." She called over her shoulder.<p>

"Ice cold beer should do it" Jane muttered under her breath as she wheeled herself into the kitchen.  
>"Don't even think about it." A voice dripping with authority commanded from somewhere upstairs. "Bottled water's in the fridge." Jane made some animated hand gestures at the ceiling, hoping after that Maura's weird sixth sense was limited to her predictability and didn't actually extend to X-ray vision.<p>

Maura revelled in the feel of her bare feet on plush cream carpets as she organized. The large room was rarely used as she didn't often get visitors and Jane was usually comfortable sleeping on the large sofa or more recently the two crashed in her own large bed. Maura smiled as she opened the draws to find items of Jane's already in there from former 'Slumber Parties.' She flashed back to an old conversation between the two.  
>"<em>I went to boarding school and slept in a room with 5 girls every night?"<br>_"_Doesn't count."  
><em>"_Why not?"  
><em>"_Was there junk food, gossip and/or pillow fights?"  
><em>"_Well no, but-"  
><em>"_And did you like any of them?"  
><em>"_They thought I was boring, I thought they were ridiculous."  
><em>"_Well then, this is your lucky day Dr. Isles, allow me to demonstrate.' Jane calculatingly swung a large pillow so it contacted the back of the doctors head, almost causing her to lose her balance. She had nearly hyperventilated in a fit of laughter at the ME's shocked expression.  
><em>"_Maura, Im.. sorry.." She choked out, clutching her side with one arm and keeping her balance with the other.  
><em>"_Really, it's okay." Was all the doctor said before slamming a pillow into the taller woman's head, causing her to loose balance and topple backwards, landing in a frenzied pile of laughter on the floor.  
><em>"_How was that?" Maura grinned down from the bed and offered a hand to help.  
><em>"_Perfect." The detective replied before pulling her down to join her in a heap of giggles on the floor._

Maura found herself laughing at the memory of her first sleepover and how many other firsts she had shared with her best friend. She went to walk out but froze as she locked eyes with a stranger in the mirror. She watched the washed-out, shrivelled mess of a woman staring back, her hair was in disarray and her fearful eyes were rimmed black sleepless nights, with harsh red marks from roughly scrubbing away stray tears in frustration.

_Food, bath and sleep._ She ordered to the foreigner in the glass and retreated out the room.

Jane opened the huge Smeg fridge and was greeted by a tantalising rush of cool air, soothing her flushed cheeks from overexerting her self with her wheelchair. She settled in her spot on the sofa and focused on the ice cold condensation slipping down the glass and gliding over her shaking hands. She was on edge- random flashes of the suppressed events 4 nights earlier had began to harass her since yesterday and she began to mimic the symptoms Maura described. Dizzy, heartbeat rocketing, beginning to panic. She didn't like being alone.

The detective set her glass aside and sunk further into the luxurious couch. She inhaled a scent from the pillow so characteristic of the honey-blonde she was stunned for a moment. The smell rendered her dumb, and completely soothed all her reflexes and tense nerve endings until she slipped further still into the serene atmosphere the house emanated. The scent evoked memories to stir in the recesses of Jane's brain as she reminisced the first time she was invited here.

Maura's Prius had gone in for repairs and she had offered to drive the doctor to and from the precinct. They had been working together a few short months and the brunette was satisfied with her assumption the honey-blonde beauty was cold and calculating. The few conversations they had were crouched over human remains, arguing over 'reddish brown stains' and Maura's confused responses to her sarcasm came across as snide. Her by-the-book attitude aggravated the detective and her beauty had her on edge.

However, once confronted by Korsak she had reluctantly agreed to 'play nice' upon hearing about her car troubles. The ME acted stunned by the offer but graciously accepted. Within seconds of wiping her boots and stepping through the Isles threshold on that first morning, she was nursing a fresh espresso straight from Maura's machine and had denied a home baked croissant. She remembered wandering around as Maura collected the last of her things and logging information about the doctor, storing questions to ask her later to prevent awkward atmosphere developing in the car with the woman she barely knew, but found herself more and more intrigued by.

She taxied her to and from Boston PD every night that week and stopped in after work for an espresso (or a cold beer depending on how the day went) upon Maura's insistence as she hadn't accepted gas money. By the end of that week they were good friends, laughing constantly at newly established inside jokes, meeting for lunch and making plans for Maura to tag along to the Dirty Robber. She was utterly fascinated by the brilliant mind beneath the beautiful shell and embraced Maura's quirks like no other. Maura tapped into areas of her psyche she never thought she would willingly revisit with anyone.

Maura was the first person she told voluntarily about Hoyt and the only one that had touched her hands since. For the first time since Hoyt, she found her guard had slipped with no conscious instruction. Suddenly the two found what they had been missing and filled the friend shaped void their demanding jobs left them with.

Friends in a day, good friends in a week, LBFFS in a month. For Jane however, it was only natural when her feelings continued to develop from that into more.

Her train of thought halted as her phones shrill ring tone tore through the calm atmosphere and she groaned loudly at the caller ID.  
>"Hey Ma…" Maura entered the room as Angela began a tirade through the speaker and chuckled as Jane blew her brains out with an imaginary gun.<br>"Play nice." She mouthed and busied herself making her first decent cup of caffeine in 4 days.

After spending at least half an hour on the phone with Angela Rizzoli muttering repetitive reassurances, Jane had calmed the hysterical woman to some degree and promised to call her later.  
>"Yes Ma… No Ma, I love you, bye." Jane muttered before hanging up and throwing the phone across the sofa with a growl.<br>"What did she say?"  
>"She gave a beautiful rendition of events: whole verses of 'I was so afraid' linking with the bridge 'It's all my fault' to come right back round to a chorus of condemning the Boston Police Department. She was keeping it together at the hospital. I am <em>so<em> glad I am here"

Maura smiled at Jane's admission. Unbeknownst to the detective, Maura had discussed living arrangements with the older Rizzoli the morning after the attack, reassuring her that the best place Jane could be was living with a doctor. In the process she had convinced herself that that was the only reason she had offered her services. However seeing Jane kick off her shoes and nestle into her sofa, she realized her brain still needed a constant reminder that Jane was safe. She couldn't bear to let her go any where yet.

"It couldn't have been easy for her."  
>"No you're right, after witnessing the whole Hoyt debacle like some low budget soap opera, I'm surprised she lets me into work without cotton-wool armour." Maura hushed all voices in her head that animatedly listed all the shortcomings an armour fashioned of cotton wool would actually present.<br>"Do you want to talk about it?"  
>"My Ma? No."<br>"Your mother isn't an 'it'" She scolded lightly. "I was talking about your attack"  
>"Oh god, which one?" Jane laughed sheepishly and fought a cringe as she felt Maura's hazel eyes analysing her every move, waiting for something to snap.<br>"Right now, all I want is some good quality food!' Jane continued after a long beat.

Maura examined for a few more seconds, seeing the slight recoil at her words and vowed to make her open up eventually. She then internally groaned as Jane's request hit her and realised she would have to cook, when all she wanted to do was wash and curl up on the sofa next to her.

_Perfect host, remember?_ The charity-ball-throwing, debutant-trained portion of her mind took over.

"Sure, what do you want?"

"Chinese okay for you?" Jane grabbed the phone to order their regular.

_This _is_ going to be fun_. Maura grinned.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Recovery**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7: Tumbling down.<strong>

Whilst waiting for the food to arrive both women gave themselves 10 minutes to shower and change. Maura nearly squealed at the prospect of washing the last four days from her skin. She could feel the hospital cling to her and it reminded her of long past hospital hours she would sooner forget. She slid into the shower and quickly adjusted it to her perfect setting before letting hot water and steam claim her.

Jane was mimicking Maura's actions in the en-suite below, still not quite prepared to brave the stairs. Although she was reluctant to admit it, she too was in need of a few human minutes to collect her thoughts, even if she was unwilling to face them yet. She spent five minutes adjusting the various dials and taps in the luxurious shower until she found a comfortable setting and stepped inside, careful not to let the powerful jet stream punch her battered shoulder and chest. She didn't quite remember when she had stripped off, but could make out a trail of clothes flung haphazardly through the steamed glass.

She slowly alternated between too hot and too cold, each switch amending the damage done by the previous attack on her skin. She was desperate for her languid muscles to respond to the harsh treatment and awaken from the haze they lulled in for 4 days. She wasn't used to her reflexes and reactions being this sluggish and didn't care for it. She numbly went through her basic cleansing routine, using only her left arm and attempting to ease the knots in her dark mane between her fingers. She gently massaged her tense scalp and traced her stitches and prominent lump that indicated the epicentre where she hit the pavement. She eventually settled on a comfortable temperature as she realised her efforts were fruitless and found her mind beginning to amble along its own path…

_Shit_.

She bit her lip painfully to stifle a cry as she lost concentration daydreaming about events taking place in the room above her. An agonising burning sensation tore through her fresh wounds as they were pounded mercilessly. Her reflexes kicked in after a couple of seconds- She recoiled from the water and fell to the hard, icy tiles as she retreated. The glass door she had flung open was trembling dangerously after ricocheting off the adjacent wall and the sound echoed accusingly. The fire that licked and sliced her skin spread throughout her thrashing body.

Jane could feel it happen, feel every emotion as it ripped from a place deep inside her. In that one moment she damned the shower, her shoulder and the son of a bitch that caused the damage. She hated Maura for being the centre of her thoughts and hated herself more. She loathed feeling constantly damaged and broken attack after attack and despised how much the job meant to her and dangled a normal life just out of her grasp.

She was sick and masochistic, lying in a shuddering heap of defeat on Maura's bathroom floor. The tears activated as quickly as the water had at the turn of a dial. They flew freely down her cheeks and wracked her naked frame. The hurt and injustice of it all clung to the inside of her throat, narrowing the airways and her breathing was snatched and desperate as a result. She clung tightly to consciousness as the sharp pain from her chest and the fall made it hard to fight the pre-existing exhaustion she tried to escape from. The water had stabbed mockingly through the raw skin like a hot poker piercing where the bullet had marked bulls-eye. Jane felt everything but could rationalise nothing. She blamed herself for letting it build to this extent, keeping every truth locked away in the depths of her mind before it burst through. The enormity of it shocked her.

This was the scene Maura opened the door to. A soaking wet, very naked Detective Rizzoli curled in a quivering mess on the bathroom floor. Oblivious to the fact that she was in nothing but a towel herself; it was a split second before Jane was scooped up in a towel and enveloped in strong arms. Maura lovingly held her shaking body, drew soothing circles down her bare arms and ran fingers through her hair. She hushed her gently and whispered reassurances in her ear. It was an obscure reflection of a similar image in the car lot, just days ago. Jane was completely spent after her body and mind betrayed her, sneaking up when she was most unsuspecting. She had kept her emotions in check all day, careful to keep a poker face for Maura's sake. They seemed to enjoy rebellion.

They stayed like that for an immeasurable amount of time. A moment void of anything but sorrow and tender compassion as Maura ghosted feather-light kisses on Jane's water-blackened hair. Jane slotted in Maura's arms effortlessly. She was completely absorbed in the slow, rhythmic rocking and the steady heart beat she could hear beneath the thin cotton towel she was pressed against.

When she finally comprehended what was happening she did what neither saw coming. She laughed. A gravelly and exhausted giggle slipped from her lips as she found humour in the ridiculousness of the situation. There she was, in the arms of her still dripping, towel-clad doctor because she had slipped in the shower like an old maid. Maura's face was a brilliant mix of thorough confusion and relief at the woman in her lap that seconds ago she was soothing from a serious panic attack.

"Are you okay?"  
>"I have absolutely no idea?" Jane replied, still trying to regulate her breathing but smiling again at the bizarre situation. <em>I think this is shock.<br>_"I gathered that." Maura replied incredulously. She racked her brains for a logical way to explain what was happening. _She is in shock.  
><em>"You have to admit, this is quite funny."  
>"Which part- you blasting your fresh wounds with a power shower or breaking down on my bathroom floor?" She replied, gazing down in disbelief and wiping the last tears from Jane's cheeks.<br>"Well when you put it like that... I am exhausted Maura, I've got many, many things I'm trying to cope with and I was due a break down at some point or another." Jane was once again locked in a hazel gaze and completely unwilling to escape. She was distracted only by a single water droplet that ran from her hairline down her cheek, sliding down the smooth contours. It slipped down her long neck and was absorbed by the Egyptian cotton towel that covered-

"Yes well, I'm glad you find it all amusing, I on the other hand am growing tired of rocking your shaking figure. You will be the death of me Jane Rizzoli." Maura sighed with a complicated expression. Jane smiled as Maura echoed her earlier 'note to self' before her utterly ridiculous behaviour registered.  
>"I really am sorry Maura, I promise to control myself better" She made a move to stand when Maura pulled her into another embrace.<br>"Honestly Jane, don't you understand- I wanted you to express your feelings _before _they built up to this magnitude? This was a natural reaction to suppressed memories and unaddressed emotions after trauma, one I have been anticipating since you awoke in a hospital from a coma-"  
>"Lets not be dramatic Maura, I believe it was a medically induced snooze to prevent brain damage and other very serious stuff. I thought you were the doctor…" Jane interrupted matter-of-factly. Maura found herself laughing and released the detective.<br>"Well either way, I knew it was coming. I just didn't expect it to be naked on my bathroom floor" Maura revelled in delight as a deep scarlet flooded down the woman's cheeks and watched her tighten the towel in embarrassment.  
>"How much did you see?"<br>"Do you want me to lie?"  
>"If necessary"<br>"Trick question, you know I can't lie? Or do you want to soothe me when I start to hyperventilate?"  
>"Oh God…" Jane hugged her knees, clearly mortified.<p>

_The last ten minutes didn't happen- Erase!_

"What's the problem? It's not as if you have anything to be ashamed of?" Maura began when the doorbell sounded. "Saved by the bell." Maura winked and sauntered out of the room to answer. Jane was assaulted with the last round of a very different emotion as her eyes locked on the long, flawless legs that swept from the room.

_Smooth Jane, real smooth._

###

Surrounded by a mountain of Chinese cartons the two women exhaled in unison, Jane absentmindedly rubbing her stomach that logically shouldn't still be flat. Maura followed her fingers sleepily, entranced with the motion. Both were sprawled out on her deluxe sofa, enjoying each others company as always. Jane was newly topped up on pain killers and lay in a stupor, replying without much thought. In typical style their conversation meandered along, making its own path without any conscious effort. It was only a matter of time before light conversation topics switched to earlier that evening.  
>"Maura?"<br>"Hmm?" she replied in a daze.  
>"I feel completely normal? What happened earlier?" Maura took her time replying, knowing she had to approach it sensitively.<br>"You suffered a severe panic attack and I hate to say it Jane, but I fear that was just the beginning. The symptoms dispersed as quickly as they came because this was your body's way of quickly releasing all the pent up emotion, and to signal that it's reaching breaking point. I fear that if it isn't addressed it will manifest in other ways."  
>"Like what? I will turn into a rampaging green monster?" Jane laughed incredulously. Maura gave her a questioning look "The Hulk? No?" Maura simply shook her head with a look of the puzzlement on her face.<br>"I don't know about that. I was referring more toward aggressive or emotional outbursts, further panic attacks, and mood swings etc. What you experienced earlier was your body relieving a short burst of all of them at once, essentially assaulting you. It indicates a deeper problem and if you don't start confronting everything, it will only get worse."  
>"So what, you want me to see some shrink that will tell me to pour my heart out and address issues I have already come to terms with? I seem to get hurt a lot, I'm a cop, what do you expect?" Jane felt a defence mechanism triggering in her mind. She leapt from the sofa in attempt to put distance between herself and the truth.<br>"Calm down Jane. Not a psychiatrist, but talking will help. If you have really handled things you wouldn't have reached breaking point earlier and we wouldn't be having this conversation now!"  
>"Let's stop then!"<br>"That is EXACTLY what I'm talking about Jane. Trust me, for the love of god. I'm not going anywhere and I would never hurt you. Neither will your emotions or your memories." The words struck a chord in the detective; Jane was too exhausted and wasn't prepared to reject the one person that wanted nothing but to help. She felt a gravitational pull tugging her toward the woman on the sofa. Maura remained completely composed, simply studying her features and expressions as she relented. A look of sadness washed over her.

"I'm scared. I didn't know my mind could have that effect on my body with no warning?" She admitted so softly that most people wouldn't have heard and simply mistaken her admission for a sigh. Maura however was so in-tune and awaited the words.  
>"I know Jane, in the long run it will help you" She replied just as softly as if trying not to startle a small child. She gently pulled her down beside her, once again picking up on Jane's fatigue. <em>She wouldn't have given in that easily if she wasn't sleep deprived. <em>

She pulled the woman into her and Jane's head rested in the nape of her neck, comfortably sprawled along the honey-blonde's body. She completely submitted and inhaled the spot where Maura's scent was the strongest. She allowed it to flood through her, easing every muscle and finally allowing her rapid train of thought to grind to a halt. Any other time she would have snapped up a shield when she became this vulnerable and sped in the opposite direction. There was something about the doctor, something about that lavender scent that spoke to her. It wisped in tendrils around her, binding her to the spot and making it impossible to break away. Full of food, dosed up on pain killers, sleepy and content, she fell into an easy sleep.

###

Jane awoke around eleven pm to find she had shifted position and her head was now rested in Maura's silk pyjama-ed lap. The doctor hadn't realised she was awake and her brow was furrowed in response to the book she was reading. Jane glanced briefly at the long medical journal title before returning her gaze to the honey blonde. The soft lamp light highlighted her high cheek bones and accented her strong jaw. It cast dark shadows on the left side of her face that danced as she cocked her head to the side in concentration. Her right hand held the book over Jane's chest and her left was tangled in the detectives raven hair. She soothed circles and drew patterns absentmindedly on her scalp with talented fingers. Jane struggled not to gasp as the doctor bit her lip and sighed at something she read. _She doesn't even realise what she is doing to me._

Maura went to turn the page and locked eyes with the woman in her lap.  
>"Welcome back." She said warmly, detangling her hand from the dark tendrils to place the journal on the coffee table.<br>"Thanks." Jane husked "Good book?"  
>"Not even remotely, I hated it the first time but it was the only one in reaching distance with out waking you."<br>"Sorry" she mumbled and stretched before cringing.  
>"You didn't redress your wounds properly before you ate, they need to be cleaned and dressed properly before you go to bed."<br>"But mom, I only just woke up!" Jane moaned, channelling a whinging 6 year old.  
>"But honey you have put a lot of strain on your body, you can't expect to be shot at and then carry on as normal. This isn't a game of cops and robbers..." Maura replied in true motherly tone.<br>"I think you will find that's exactly what it was, but less robber; more high-end drug dealer…Plus I dressed them just fine; I must be due another round of pain killers though?"  
>"Your next dose is scheduled in an hour. I imagine as you blasted your wounds with a shower, they will be fairly clean and the hastily-arranged bandages will do until the morning."<br>"I'm sorry, but what did you expect? I could smell Chinese and it was calling to me. A break-down sure does build up an appetite. Speaking of which, did that delivery guy leave his number?" Jane joked, addressing the guy in his early twenties that delivered their meal and his obvious infatuation with the oblivious blonde.

Maura's brow knitted in confusion.  
>"Well, yes? I thought that was standard procedure? You always take care of the food…" Jane suddenly found the whole situation hilarious.<br>"Its standard procedure in a bad Porno Maura! A beautiful woman accepts a delivery in nothing but a towel, the poor guy thought his pubescent dreams were coming true!" she cried in exasperation.  
>"I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about?"<br>"I know, that's what makes it so brilliant!" Seeing the hurt look on Maura's face she switched the topic slightly and calmed herself. "How much did it come to?"  
>"$45" Maura replied as she made her way into the kitchen with the cartons, binning the empty ones and storing left-over's in the fridge.<br>"So I owe you…" Jane called into the kitchen before being cut off.  
>"No I owe you Jane?"<br>"Didn't you pay the guy?"  
>"I assumed you paid by card over the phone? I was getting drinks at the time." Maura heard Jane howling in the conjoining room and went to investigate.<p>

"What is so funny?"  
>"Your near-nakedness got us free food!"<br>"We didn't pay? I wondered why he hovered so long…" Maura felt the guilt press heavily on her chest, did she _steal_ Chinese food?  
>"This is <em>brilliant<em>, we are definitely using this to our advantage- Imagine what free stuff we could get if you dropped the towel all together! This could mean so much more than just take-out Maura. Imagine the possibilities" Jane began, only half joking. Maura mock-glared at the woman lolled on her settee and raised a groomed eyebrow.  
>"Pardon me detective but you seem extremely eager for me to strip and exploit my body for your benefit?" Jane swallowed her laughter and battled a tell-tale blush. <em>You have NO idea.<br>_"Just using your assets to our advantage" She replied nonchalantly "We could use the same trick to get you out of jail when we try it on a gay delivery guy. It's foolproof." Jane winked and rubbed at the sharp jab she earned.  
>"You sound like a Pimp, you know that?"<br>"That would make you my hooker babe" Jane joked and noted the doctors furrowed brow. "… But a very classy one." She added swiftly, biting back a smile.  
>"Okay Itzler, lets get you to bed" She sighed and pulled the detective to her feet, rambling about how prostitution was the world's oldest profession as she tenderly lead her up the stairs.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

**The Recovery**

**Disclaimer: I totally don't, but am working on a persuasive PowerPoint to email to TNT, Any one want in?**

**A/N: I apologise for the ridiculous wait, I'm having a blast writing this so hope I haven't lost any of you, this is relatively short but I hope you enjoy (and review, please..)**  
><strong>P.S this is going to be a hectic next few weeks for me so I will update when I can- please stay with me! <strong>  
><strong>P.P.S I am English so please excuse any misuse of American vernacular.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8: Metaphor<strong>

Jane was gently guided to the guest room. Dressed only in pyjama shorts and a tank top, she felt the cool air nip and burn her skin. She immediately missed the glow of Maura's grand fireplace and the warmth that radiated from the blonde when they lay together. Jane slipped under the covers and curled into a ball, hugging her knees.  
>"Sleepy?"<br>"Not particularly."  
>"Well stay up until you are due your medication or I'm going to have to wake you any way. Say, wasn't there a baseball game on earlier? I remember Korsak mentioning something…" Jane nearly slammed her palm into her head for forgetting. Tonight was the All Stars, and she had missed it.<br>"What's the time?" Jane looked like a cartoon character, lurching upright in bed and animatedly shaking her head left and right, desperate to find a clock.  
>"Behind you Sherlock; its eleven thirty. You will still catch the highlights." Jane settled propped against the backboard waiting for her fuzzy mind to clear <em>Head injuries suck.<em> She watched as Maura retrieved the remote from the bedside table and brought the large, but tasteful flat-screen on the wall opposite the bed to life.  
>"You got ESPN?" Jane asked incredulously, unwilling to draw her attention from the blushing blond.<br>"I promised didn't I? I believe it was one of your requirements." Maura smiled, dropping her hazel eyes, almost embarrassed.  
>"I don't deserve you!" Jane grinned, kissing the doctor hard on both cheeks in true Italian nature.<p>

Maura felt a light simmer in her stomach at the exchange but cast it aside as pride. She was proud to have pulled through for her friend. She admitted the 'bathroom incident' was a slip up but it reassured her that for now, her detective was doing okay. Jane had finally averted her gaze to the screen. Maura watched for all of thirty seconds before becoming bored, her usually extraordinary attention span was weary due to lack of sleep and she instead snuggled deep into the heavenly plush pillows. Without turning from the stats on the screen, Jane caught Maura's silk-clad legs and elevated them slightly before whipping the covers from beneath her and draping them over her slightly chilly body.  
>"Impressive" Maura muttered.<br>"Just call me Houdini."

Maura took full advantage of an opportunity to study the brunette without harsh speculation. She watched the flashing images cast abstract patterns on huge eyes, fascinated by her reaction to what ever the news-caster was reporting rhythmically. The glow highlighted the alert eyes, the beautiful contours of her face and the brilliant white of her smile. Maura subconsciously took mental images as her brain flitted along, merrily cruising through its usual rampant list before it would finally be able to calm and give in to relaxation.

She acknowledged every thought that flashed behind her eyes, but tried desperately not to explore them too greatly, for risk of taking a detour and getting lost in thought- somewhere Maura was never entirely comfortable. She refused to become distracted and tried with all her might to focus instead on the way the detective's lip pouted slightly in reaction to a players slip and the way her biceps tensed under the smooth skin when she watched the pitcher, as if her muscles were subconsciously reminiscing the movement they themselves had performed countless times from a young age. Maura was sleepily entranced by how Jane's breathing caught at a tense moment and the way the rapid cuts on the television expertly selected strands of the raven tendrils to glow various colours, reflecting the brilliant colour in its sleek shine. These minute details kept Maura on the high-way in her mind, the safest most effective way to relax enough to sleep. She lightly amused herself with the new metaphor she had discovered and took time visualising her complex psyche as a detailed road map.

Like her home town of Boston, there were safe areas; accepted trains of thought that housed all of her medical knowledge, and also enveloped popular areas like small talk and opinions on the weather. These were the only places Maura was encouraged to reside in growing up.

Later however, Maura had discovered the wonderful places that seemed to spring from nowhere whilst stumbling along a new path. This is where her job lay settled in her mind; she was always willing to explore new developments in science, but was comforted in the knowledge she could easily return to the safe areas of root understanding should she wish.

Then there were the back alleys, the dark murky streets in the mind that elicited an unnerving chill down your spine at the mere thought of the tribulations and dangers one might face in these parts: her family issues, childhood and Jane's attacks all lurked there in Maura's shadows. These demons were armed with melancholy 'what-ifs' and tantalising alternative routes that could lead you to stray father into unwelcome territory. These cranial slip-roads were the cause of all-night list making and criminal dark circles round the eyes.

But each small movement Jane made was a reminder that the detective was still alive. With every blink, every breath and every small sound, a little more light was cast and these areas seemed less terrifying. She remembered when she had first returned to Boston from medical school, excited at the prospect of yet another fresh-start and instead left the hospital more lost than ever, in desperate need of direction. Boston Homoside department literally made the streets safer so it seemed fitting that Maura was only prepared to face the metaphorical bad places with the one person that would take a bullet for her? Her mind literally spun with all the figurative speech and symbolisms racing through her cerebral cortex. It was Jane's graceful stretch that ground all the mayhem in her mind to a halt.

The dim hall-way light illuminated her figure. A long, toned, athletic arm reached sky-ward causing her back to arch and eliciting the woman to groan. The sound struck Maura specifically as if designed for her, punching the breath from her diaphragm. She felt her stomach stir, her mind haze and her mouth dry. Her eyes locked themselves onto the tiny strip of toned stomach still visible as Jane rose to retrieve her medication and glass of water that had been laid out for her across the room. The television was black. _When did that happen?_

It was a groan of another calibre that snapped Maura from her haze.  
>"Son of a Bitch" Jane cursed loudly as she tried to bend and reach the medication that slipped from her currently clumsy, un-coordinated fingers. Her head swam, causing a panic to strike her. Black seeped over her vision, first in blotchy circles, then dancing dangerously around her corneas, mocking her with dizziness and vertigo. She felt herself fall, felt the ground slip from under her bare feet and her vision was just clear enough to see it hurtle toward her.<p>

"Oh no you don't." She was snatched from the air by strong hands that clasped around her good arm and waist. She found her self spun into the doctor's body with her head resting on the smaller ones shoulders as she regained her balance. The two exhaled in unison. After several moments entwined Jane took a step back.  
>"Damn, sorry about the water, and the glass, and the cursing…"<br>"I forgive you for all three, though I would be careful Jane; you are in great danger of epitomising a Damsel in distress." She turned away to clear the broken glass Jane hadn't registered dropping, choosing to disregard the colourful muttering behind her. Jane switched on the lamp and settled back under the covers, propped up by a mound of downy pillows. She sipped from Maura's glass to calm herself and hesitantly swallowed the 3 giant capsules. She felt them struggle the whole way down her impossibly dry oesophagus leaving a bad taste on her tongue.

"I was going to go back to the hospital in the next few days to get the details of your physio. appointments. I would like you to come if you feel up to it? Just so they can check up on you." The doctor spoke from the floor.  
>"Cummon Maura, you just sprung me from that place!"<br>"For heavens sake Jane, it's a place of healing, not Alcatraz. To quote Detective Frost: You need to Man-up."  
>"Did you, Doctor Maura Isles, just tell me to Man-up?" Jane blinked once.<br>"I must have used it right?" Maura pondered sceptically whilst mopping up the water. Jane grinned and shook her head in disbelief before continuing without weighing her words.  
>"But I hate doctors!" She froze as her own whine registered in her ears. Maura too became rooted to the spot she had just finished clearing. She raised her head slowly and to Jane's great relief, the complex expression she wore seemed to be one of amusement rather than anger. <em>Back-pedal, fast.<em>

"What I meant to say is, I hate _those_ kinds of doctors." The atmosphere thickened as she awaited a response.  
>"...Mmhh, and what kind of doctors are they Jane?" Maura teased as she rose slowly, basking in delight at the flustered look on the usually ice-cool detective.<br>_The dreamy, flirty, British kind?__  
><em>"Ones that make a fuss over nothing?" Jane tried desperately to scramble from the large hole she had dug.  
>"...But I constantly fuss over you?" Maura asked with mock puzzlement, arms crossed and wearing an expression she hoped resembled hurt.<br>"Ones that think they know everything?" Jane attempted again, finding it increasingly difficult to think and suddenly incapable of tearing her gaze from the mischievous hazel eyes that entranced her.  
>"I think you and I both know I am more than knowledgeable in most instances? Or is that not right Jane..." Maura asked with innocent confusion on her face as she stalked across the room toward the detective, a playful smirk illuminated in the orange glow.<br>"No, I mean, I just-" Jane scrambled for words as the doctor stood over her, head cocked to one side.  
>"Hush now." Jane was silenced by a delicate finger pressed against her mouth. "We wouldn't want you to choke on your own foot would we?" She cupped Jane's cheek before lightly slapping it with a grin.<br>"Oh you are a mean woman, I was genuinely panicked!" Jane breathed. The relieved exhale and Maura's giggle at Jane's expression immediately dispersed the enigmatic atmosphere.

"Ah, well we both know you love me regardless of the fact I'm an overbearing know-it-all." Maura jested, arms crossing.  
>"Know-it-all? Yes. But I would be on your autopsy table if you weren't overbearing." Maura caught her eye as Jane caught her breath.<br>"Well actually I highly doubt they would authorise me to perform your autopsy on account of the ethical issues, though the sentiment is much appreciated" Jane's eyes rolled despite herself as the blonde continued. "...Besides, I would be too busy avenging your death" At this Jane laughed. Loudly.  
>"Why is that funny?" Maura demanded, still standing over her. "I go to Boxing class twice a week!" Jane managed to stifle another raspy giggle enough to gain some composure.<br>"I'm sorry Maura, I'm sure the convicted gang member and would-be murderer would cower in the face of your latest 'Box-ercise' routine." She resolved quickly before earning a swot from the honey-blonde.  
>"Fine, I will bear that in mind the next time you are shot at. I think we need to acknowledge it is becoming common-place and prepare for the very real likelihood it will reoccur after one misconstrued, smart-alec comment too many." She quipped, jabbing her arm gently.<br>"Was there a threat lurking beneath that private-school vernacular Miss Isles?"  
>"Oh Jane..." She leant to switch of the lamp, "Don't tempt me." The gleam of a white smile was visible even through the darkness before she elegantly navigated through the room.<br>"Good night Jane"  
>"Good night Maura."<br>They both smiled into blackness and sunk into separate mattresses in opposite rooms, both fighting the sense the bed was that little too big.


	9. Chapter 9

**The Recovery**

**Disclaimer: These characters belong to the wonderful minds of Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro, TNT etc.. Im just borrowing them.**

**A/N: HI EVERYBODY! In case you are re-reading and wonder why this chapter has halved, it's because I hated the original :) So here is a vastly cropped and edited version of the old chapter nine, please read, review, and tell me if I did the right thing by changing it in the first place? It's really different from the old one, so worth having a look. Thanks!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9- Loss.<strong>

Four days had passed and it was increasingly difficult for the pair to part. In that time the two had settled into a blissful pattern, completely content with the others company. When their jobs were so demanding, both felt blessed to have just one friend that appreciated the burden and returned the offer of friendship in equal measure.

Jane became accustomed to using Maura as her personal pain killer. The prescribed medication lulled the pain, still causing lethargic limbs and slow reflexes, Maura however muted it altogether and her side effects were something else entirely. Jane had never experienced more warmth and laughter than after a dose of the M.D. Her beaming smile effectively blocked the pain recesses to the extent she was fooled into forgetting why they were spending so much time together in the first place.

That was until Maura would run to the shops, or the office, or the bathroom for that matter. Her absence hurtled Jane back to earth from the land of naivety she had resided in. She felt the warmth the doctor exuded flicker out like a candle and the withdrawal was like any hard addiction. She forgot she was safe, forgot she was loved and was cornered and crushed by the emotions she was able to suppress in Maura's company. The deleterious rogue thoughts seem to circle overhead like vultures, ready to descend upon her weakened form as soon as the M.E left her side, ambushing her like in the bathroom days before.

The turnaround was somehow more remarkable, the mere sound of the honey-blondes return was music to the woman's ears; it hushed tears better than lollypop in the mouth of a whimpering child. It left no evidence but the slight red rimming around the deep brown eyes. Upon exchanging the woman's kind gaze, she was back to square one, feeling on cloud nine. Like the first shoot up after being straight for decades, like giving a recovered alcoholic a mature scotch, Jane Rizzoli was hooked on Maura Isles, she could handle serial rapists, murderers and other general scum of Boston, but the rehab of separation from Maura was not something she was willing to endure. Jane was unaware of a similar attitude Maura held each time she had to leave.

"Where'd you disappear to?" Jane asked looking up from her bowl of Lucky charms from her place on the sofa as Maura hastily raided the fridge for drink. Her ears latched on to her heavy breathing and sweat-glistened forehead. "Damn Maura, you okay?" She felt stupid as soon as her clothing appeared from behind the counter.  
>"Of course, just went a run, Joe was getting restless." It was only then Jane saw the exhausted pup at the doctor's side eagerly lapping at the fresh water she was presented with. "Besides, numerous studies show it's the best way to start a day. Well you know, that and healthy breakfast." She smirked pointedly, indicating Jane's raised spoon of artificial flavours.<p>

Jane occupied herself with studying the multicoloured wonder that swam in her milk, trying to clear her hastily hazy mind. _She is panting and smirking. In yoga pants. Do they have to be so _tight_? Damn her and damn her 'aerodynamic apparel'. Oh dear god, she is about to stretch..._ At this point Jane's brain effectively turned to mush.

Maura moved into the living room and took a wide stance in the space behind the sofa that Jane was occupying. The detective discreetly swivelled so her back was against the armrest and her legs spread the length of the sofa so she got a full view of the show about to proceed. She was briefly distracted as the small dog used the last of its energy to launch onto her lap, nudging the already precariously balanced bowl on her knee. She tried to focus solely on stroking the pup that was clearly feeling rejected by her master after spending the last week at Frankie's.

The blonde gracefully extended her right arm to the ceiling and leant to the left, stretching the muscles south of the arm. _Cummon now, chew… chew…_

Her eyes were closed, relaxing into the stretch and inadvertently gave Jane full opportunity to gawp. She held the pose before switching to flat-back position to the left, chest perfectly parallel to the floor… _And swallow. There you go._

Jane was painfully aware of her trance but remained unwilling to snap out of it. Almost in slow motion Maura ran her right arm down her left leg to the ankle and dropped her head so it rested on her knee to ease the burning in her thighs and calves. Jane broke into a slight panic at her inability to look away, seemingly the only one aware of the painful quiet that swept over the usually talkative pair and the unwieldy atmosphere, afraid the hazel eyes would snap open any minute and witness her stupor. She absorbed every detail as Maura's toned legs maintained their stance and her forearms easily rested on the floor between them, thanks to years of limbering classes that came as an accessory to her extensive gymnastic and dance training.

Just as Jane's heart rate began to return to a healthy rhythm, Maura lunged forward deeply, one leg at a right angle and the other straight behind, hands either side of her bent knee. She dropped her head and groaned slightly as the lactic acid began to subside. The innocent noise that slipped from her lips shot red heat through Jane's body as if challenging her to act. She spluttered on her milk, breaking the silence and finally cast the bowl aside. _I can see the headline now- Dewy-eyed Detective: death by distracted cereal consumption._

She too closed her eyes and focused only on steadying her increasingly audible breaths, snapping her jaw shut and running the back of a hand across her chin to ensure she hadn't actually drooled.  
>"So where did you go?" She asked gruffly, attempting to clear both the milk residue and lusty tone from her throat.<br>"Hm?" Maura rose from her Russian-ballet warm down and smiled, trying to diagnose Jane's darkened eyes and dilated pupils "Oh you know, our normal route. It's nice to get out, fresh air does miracles." Jane smiled warmly at the memory of how she acquired her running partner in the first place.

_A month into their friendship and Jane's twice-weekly runs had increased to twice-daily. She desperately relied on the physical burn to block out a very different kind of burn that plagued her body every time she thought of her friend. She fought to suppress a wince as she reached for her coffee, every muscle was on fire. Maura took note of her Jane's anguished expression and__lean__figure slumped in the chair. She had barely enough energy to grunt a sarcastic comment, let alone maintain decent posture. Maura frowned deeply and continued her rant._

_"...I of course recognise the benefit a natural release of endorphins provides, but the extent of your work outs will inevitably do more harm than good Jane." She chastised._  
><em>"Oh yeah?" Jane's eyes briefly lifted from the patterns in the wood grain, refusing to get lost in the hazel pools that stunted her breathing. "Well, life's pretty crappy at the moment and I think I need all the endorphins I can get. What else would you suggest Doctor?" Her mocking tone was of course ignored by the woman perched on the edge of her desk.<em>  
><em>"There have been many studies into the 'Natural high' the body is capable of producing, the most common stimulants are chocolate, acupuncture, and arguably the most effective: making love." Maura finished with a grin and a definitive nod of her head. Jane was suddenly incapable of swallowing the coffee she was nursing. "…Sex Jane?" Maura mistook the detective's dazed expression for confusion at her choice of words and elaborated. "After orgasm, at the point where the body explodes into intense physical contractions, we release a group of substances in the brain, among them beta-endorphins, natural painkillers that give us that warm, relaxed afterglow." Both men in the room were suddenly enthralled by the unexpected turn in the conversation.<em>  
><em>"So Janie has just gotta fall in love with some sap and maybe she will stop being such a grouch!" Korsak piped in before retreating with his arms raised, as though Jane's hard glare was a barrel of a gun and Frost chuckled from across the room. Their banter was once again over-looked by Maura with a smile, determined the group would learn something new and eager to share her knowledge.<em>  
><em>"Interestingly, the chemicals secreted during sex are different to the ones that are released during the act of falling in love; when your heart beats faster and you feel light headed? You are releasing chemicals called phenylethylamine, which affects your mood like amphetamines…" The doctor continued to ramble as Jane's head lay on the desk, trying desperately to stifle the very symptoms the doctor was listing.<em>

_That evening the two went on their first run together_ _so Maura could assess first-hand the extent of the workout. Both pushed harder than ever before, both determined to win, fuelled by a twin competitive nature. That night they both crashed on Jane's small sofa, too exhausted to move, aching limbs entwined together._

Suddenly the reality of her injuries came crashing back to Jane. She may never run again. Yet another thing she relied on for maintaining sanity had been senselessly torn from her. Hadn't she already lost too much? Surely there was a limit, some kind of cap on the amount one can sacrifice for someone else's benefit or at the hands of another's cruelty. The conflicting opinions in her mind constantly battled, and hatred between camps was rife. Part of her hated the job, hated what it had stolen from her and most passionately hated the dominating portion of her mind that couldn't live without it.

If it wasn't for the job; Hoyt and all the psychological turmoil that preceded him would be obsolete. She could have been happily married to a good man that earned a good living, allowing her to stay home and look after the two unruly-haired children they could have had. Children too content in the love and safety they were surrounded by to be concerned with their blue collared status. She wouldn't be stranded on a sofa with a malfunctioning body and a mind to match, that had also developed a tendency to pounce when she was at her weakest. Hoyt had taken many things that made Jane who she was, without him she may still have her partner, her dignity, her sense of security, but most importantly; she may never have given up on herself.

The monster sliced through every tie of trust Jane had to those she loved the most, stunting any potential friendships, effectively corrupting any chance of a relationship and leaving her with a reckless fire that still burned in her gut. She had danced the line of death too frequently to fear it. Some could say fate dealt her worse cards than death.

It had taken all her time and effort to re-establish the relationship with friends and family from the dark twisted place she had retreated after his first try for her life. She emerged with the mindset that her heart would rule over her head in most situations from then on, often at her own expense. All rational self-preservation was effectively erased and she won numerous commendations for it. The people of Boston admired her bravery, those who knew her saw it as a cry for help. She would take bullets, walk into hostage situations and take on men twice her size to chase the sense of control that had been swiped from her grasp, barely escaping alive and claiming her actions were necessary. It wasn't that Hoyt took her sense of fear; on the contrary, he had heightened it to a magnitude that haunted the grown woman and still woke her in a cold sweat. He had stolen her sense of worth. It was her natural skill and her programmed ability that meant she was still breathing, as her hazardous and risky approach lead to an excellent career and crappy life quality.

Now her current injuries and A&E record made Jane finally assess this perspective, she wanted to sob in the realisation that yet again, she could have died. It was her heart and gut fear for Maura's safety that lead her to the parking lot with no back-up, the same heart that made her body freeze as she locked onto the hazel gaze in the dark, subsequently earning her 6 to 8 months recovery time and yet another hideous scar. She realised the reason her thoughts were so vocal was that she was finally exploring them, and they took the opportunity to mock and tease her relentlessly, if she still held the balance between head and heart that used to keep her on track, she wouldn't be left behind while Maura went running, while everyone else in life moved on.

She was prepared to escape to the bathroom and spiral into a hole of self pity, hating Hoyt and the latest bastard that shot at her, as well as the many that tried before him, grazing her skin and leaving icy white scar tissue. It dawned on her that the black thoughts that hung over her were yet another side affect of her separation from her friend. By simply thinking of her smile, honey-blond tendrils and hazel eyes she was uplifted. Maura was the kind of person that made lists, that knew the schools her children would attend and the residential home by the lake she would grown old in. She was the one person that overcame Jane's barriers and established iron-ties so strong, she could do nothing but trust her implicitly. She _couldn't_ hurt Jane even if she tried. Maura lived life by the book, by the scalpel, and by emerging herself in the doctor, the two balanced each other impeccably. Jane encouraged Maura to 'listen to her intestines' and Maura was the voice of reason when Jane was lost.

A portion of her mind spoke loud and clear amongst the emotion; without the horrors of the job, she never would have confided in the medical examiner with beauty and class from a very different world, she never would have developed the knot in her stomach that felt as though she was going to free-fall a thousand feet whenever she spoke her name and she never would have known what it was like to truly love. Together, Boston's villains murdered her innocence, but in its wake rose a Jane that loved so ferociously that they couldn't call it a victory.

"I'm going to jump in the shower, do you need anything?" Jane snapped back to the present when she heard the dulcet tone directed at her. Maura was completely oblivious to the ocean deep thoughts swirling under the raven locks. She couldn't help but beam at the doctor's natural thoughtfulness.  
>"What from the shower? No I'm good"<br>"Ha Ha." The doctor grinned back and uncharacteristically rolled her eyes before sweeping from the room. Jane smiled before looking downwards.

_I meant what I said you bastard. I win._


	10. Chapter 10

**The Recovery**

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><p><strong>Chapter Ten: Pinky Swear<strong>

"You are being ridiculous."  
>"No,<em> you're<em> being ridiculous! Why can't you assess me yourself, or is the Lincense to Practice certificate on your wall counterfeit?" Maura recoiled in disgust at the thought.  
>"I am a <em>Medical Examiner<em> Jane. Somehow I don't think my expertise in studying corpses is going to be of much use to you. I am **not** a physical therapist." Jane's argument was greatly flawed and she knew it. She had run out of words so she put all her trust in her legs and willed them not to fail her as she battled gravity and stood from her chair. She braved turning a full circle as if giving the doctor the opportunity to assess her whole body before slumping back down as smoothly as possible. She panicked slightly at the black spots on her vision and the dizziness that made her want nothing more than to lie down. She smiled defiantly through the haze, as though her point was made.

"Jane Rizzoli" Maura challenged, mustering a maternal tone that stopped whatever track of argument Jane was preparing to go down as she stared dubiously "It doesn't take seven years in medical school to see you are fighting to stay upright! You agreed to weekly check-ups with Dr. Matthews before you were discharged. They are fundamental for a full recovery"  
>"I am recovering just fine!" She flared up at the mention of his name from her lips. She couldn't think clearly, each limb felt as if it was made of iron and every effort to move became too strenuous. Pain tainted with anger was a venomous mixture and it poisoned her thought processes. She didn't think before she spoke, fighting a pointless battle when she knew she had no hope of winning, the frustrations drove her on.<p>

Maura kept an icy cool exterior, confident in the knowledge that she was completely right and waited patiently for that to dawn on her opponent. The first ten minutes were filled with valuable points from both sides, the last 5 were bordering on ludicrous. On the inside, she was panicking. After such a promising start to her stay, Jane seemed to be regressing in the last two days. She appeared content to sit in her chair, patting Joe or flicking through channels, even resorted in sleeping there the past couple of nights, no longer housing the energy to conquer the stairs, no matter Maura's encouragement.

The argument was taking a physical toll on Jane and she screwed her eyes shut, trying to force out the pain assaulting her. Oblivious to the fact Maura had been talking the whole time, she looked up to see her clearly waiting for some kind of response. Instead of anger, Maura opted for a tired sigh.  
>"I don't know when you lost faith in me Jane, but I hope for both our sakes you can learn to trust me again.' With that she swept from the room, through the kitchen and onto the back porch, grabbing a blanket and book as she went.<p>

Jane drowned in the silence that flooded the room as she questioned how the argument even began. It stemmed purely from concern and love, Jane had responded as though it were a malicious attack and only the absence of her friend made her see it. She raised her right arm agonisingly slowly, as if fearing the damaged limp would snap under the strain. She overlooked the mind-numbing pain with sheer will-power as she extended it trembling, and reached toward the person she had more faith in than she hoped anyone would ever know.

###

Maura still hadn't returned after her dramatic exit and was bound to the spot by both pride and embarrassment. Reading had done nothing to calm a rampant mind and the book lay cast aside on the loveseat. Pacing the raised porch that ran the length of the back of her house hadn't helped much either and she now stood resolved, overlooking her yard as her mind hummed. She could hear stirring behind her but refused to turn her head to acknowledge it. She was caught completely off guard when the door opened and laboured breaths grew closer as Jane wheeled in beside her, sucking in the night air for the first time in over a week. Maura remained composed and allowed her to get her bearings, realising she was taking a big step…figuratively speaking. Jane rested her crossed arms on the low wooden balustrade and sighed deeply. They stayed silent for a long moment, gazing out at Maura's large back yard bathed in the moonlight.

Jane finally turned her head so it lay on her crossed arms and examined her best friend. Still refusing to meet her gaze, her expression was stubborn, lit by the contrasting warm glow provided by the light through the kitchen drapes and the icy moon. She studied her response as she whispered.  
>"I'm sorry." Finally the hurt expression washed from her friends face and their eyes met.<br>"I know, I just wanted to hear you say it." She replied softly. A long moment passed.  
>"It's the nightmares." Jane whispered, defeated.<p>

Maura had been oblivious to the real problem that mocked her friend. Nightmares; childish and irrational had completely halted all hope of a peaceful night sleep since she had started sleeping alone. _It was the familiar repetitive loop of a dark room; she would hear nothing but harsh breaths on her neck, echoing laughter and whimpers of mercy. The dreams fled back to her in full force having been dormant for some time, they were now laced with gunshots and strangled cries._ Having been woken so violently the first night she spent alone, she resolved to sleep downstairs to avoid waking Maura when she emptied her stomach or changed the sweat-drenched covers that always found a way to bind her while she thrashed from the villains in her sleep.

Maura gazed into the deep brown eyes and saw something had replaced the fear and doubt that came with her insecurities. Trust, pure and unmistakable. There Maura saw the irrefutable dependence she feared had wavered, strong as ever as it locked around her heart. A look so void of defence, an expression so free from the mask she often hid behind that offered protection from the outside world as people submitted to the power that mystery gave her.

For the last two days Maura lived in fear that she was steadily being exiled, but now as she took in Jane's completely broken defence and the trepidation in her eyes as she admitted weakness, she realised it was the fear of wounded pride that made Jane pull away. She cared too much for Maura's opinion, not too little. Jane tried desperately to channel all this into one look, communicating her apology non-verbally as her friend searched her eyes for any indication she was going to pull away. Satisfied in what she saw, she gave a tiny nod and disappeared for a second to retrieve the pain meds and a glass of water from the kitchen and returned quickly, closing the door.

Jane spoke before Maura had time to come up with a response to her admission, offering more.  
>"I don't like being alone." She spoke even quieter. Maura passed her the pills and the glass, fingers grazing as she slowly pulled away, trying desperately to vocalise her feelings.<br>"So I won't leave."

###

They remained happy in quiet as they waited for the medication to take effect, both in awe of the effect the moon had on the garden, catching a tree-trunk or blade of grass and making them glow. An old memory suddenly flooded through a sleepy Jane and she gasped slightly, gently clutched her stomach.  
>"Are you okay?" Maura asked in a near-whisper, as she turned to rest on the porch banister and faced detective to her right in the chair, not wanting to break the smooth atmosphere.<br>"Yeah, just a stomach knot." Maura suddenly looked seriously alarmed, startling the other woman.  
>"Jane this is serious, it could indicate serious anxiety, panic, PTSD..." She spoke with quiet urgency.<br>"Calm it Doc, do I look like I need a paper bag?" Jane grinned again and was tickled by the familiar sensation. "You know when you are really happy and it catches you off guard? Seeing or recalling something beautiful you didn't expect, your stomach knots and butterflies… I swear I can almost feel it" a drowsy Jane smiled and rubbed her stomach. The smile was so child-like and innocent, so unlike the sarcastic smirk or weary chuckle she often exhibited that Maura inhaled sharply. _Happy stomach-knot?  
><em>"Yeah I know the feeling" Maura grinned back, startled at the back flips her own stomach was performing. "What caught you off guard?"  
>"Just memories" The somnolent Jane gazed back at the garden "Wanna hear a story?" Maura hummed affirmatively and slid down the wood railing to ease her aching legs from standing for so long, she herself was beginning to feel very sleepy as she hugged her knees and tuned in to Jane's story telling voice. "I was twelve…"<p>

_The three Rizzoli children had suffered their first loss of a close family member that summer; Angela's mother had passed away and they were at a complete loss of how to handle it. The day of the funeral, the three bonded together, remaining one strong unit to support their hysterical mother, and lightening the mood between them by cracking the occasional joke about an Aunt's hat or a cousin's funny hair cut._

_They stayed mostly silent all day, an offer much appreciated and one that they rarely extended without being asked. Solemnly accepting hugs and pats on the back from random 'family members' saying how they had grown. It saddened the young Jane that it took a death for these people to appear. They returned home and Frank ushered the still sobbing Angela up the stairs, leaving the three children at a complete loss of how to behave. They were all hit with the realisation that no one is invincible. Ma and Grandma were super heroes, the strongest women and role models any one could ask for, today one was buried and one was curled in bed, broken by grief. It was a wake-up call and Jane suddenly felt an over-whelming sense of duty to the family tugging at her chest. She stood abruptly from where the three sat in a daze and began making peanut-butter and fluff sandwiches. The middle Rizzoli followed suit and poured three glasses of milk in silence as seven year old Tommy gazed out the window._

_They ate in silence before the youngest stood quickly, clapping in delight,_  
><em>"Janie, look!" He cried, pointing out the window.<em>  
><em>"What is it?" She raised an eyebrow as the boy leapt across the room, grabbing two blankets and tugging at his siblings in turn. They grabbed the plates and followed the animated child as he led the way down the steps into the family back-yard. He spread the blanket and signalled for the others to lie down. Jane laughed and wished she could have taken a picture of his displeased expression as he squeezed in-between the two of them, wanting to be in the middle. Sandwiches lay half-eaten beside them as a tiny blanket was draped over the three. The mid-summer night air was at a perfect temperature, offering a relief from the stuffy day-time heat. The blanket was a comfort rather than a necessity as they snuggled together.<em>

_"Tommy, why are we out here?" Jane whispered softly, staring at her brother, not wanting to taint the lazy silence as Boston slept. All hyperactivity had swept from the small boy as his eyes were huge with awe and pointed a tiny finger. All three Rizzoli children looked up and drank in the sight of a wondrous blanket of stars jewelling the black sky through identical brown eyes._  
><em>"They are moving!" Frankie's voice was an excited whisper as Jane recalled a weatherman mentioning a meteor-shower this morning as she gulped down cereal and the tangles were yanked from her hair. She saw one, two, three shoot across the night sky, daring the three children to make a wish. Jane wished to be strong for her family, Frankie wished to be as strong as his sister and Tommy wished for a new bike. Jane's head lolled to one side and noticed for the first time the full moon that looked down upon the Rizzoli house. Jane always liked the night-time, the dark provided mystery and wonder and the moon served as a night-light, banishing monsters in the shadows.<em>

_They stayed that way until she could feel the dew-dampened blanket stick to her back, the only thing indicating a passing of time. She saw Frankie rub his eyes in furious attempt to stay awake, to look at the stars just a while longer. She heard Tommy's soft, regular breaths beside her as he slept, feeling completely protected by the two around him. Muttering softly, she swept the youngest up in her arms despite his dead weight and her tiny frame;_ _responsibility gave her new-found strength. She watched Frankie juggling the blankets and plates, eyes barely open as he climbed the steps after her._

"...That was a really good day, as far as funerals go. I guess this just kind of reminded me." She nodded at the yard, seeming to have lulled herself into a trance as well as the woman gazing up at her. Maura was spellbound by Jane's deep voice and responded like a child hearing a bedtime story. She quickly wiped tears she hadn't realised had fallen and smiled. Jane told her because she felt she could. She was subconsciously showing Maura that she trusted her with a story that stuck out in her childhood as important, that showed her vulnerability. Jane finally returned from her past and looked down to see at some point their hands had joined, fingers intertwined.

Jane shivered slightly, both at the memory and at the sensation of the blonde's thumb stroking delicate circles on her palm. Maura reluctantly disconnected, reaching the short distance to retrieve the blanket she had cast aside with the book and wrapped it round Jane's frame. She stood behind her and rubbed her upper-arms both for comfort and warmth.

"I feel like an old lady." Jane joked softly, pulling at the blanket and indicating the chair.  
>"Hey you had better get used to it, this is exactly what it will be like in 50 years" Running both hands down the length of her arms from behind and locking their fingers together once more. Her chin rested on Jane's right shoulder and the soft voice tickled her ear. "Except I will also be in a chair and our hands wont be nearly as smooth" she chuckled and moved to lean against the wood railing once more, amusedly watching as Jane's heart halted altogether. <em>Did she just imply we are going to grow old together? That in 50 years, she will still hold my hand, even when I haven't been shot at?<em> She tried to compose her confusion and choked a reply.  
>"You feel like elucidating Maura?" The doctor wore an expression of mock hurt as she clasped her heart.<br>"I take our LLBFF vow very seriously and plan to honour it even in old age! I was of course referring to _life-long _portion of the pact; I thought it was fairly self explanatory. You will move in here when we are old and frail, unless you want to live in a Nursing-home? I would prefer for us to care for one another, or hire a residential nurse if necessary, but I guess I can compromise… That's unless you are backing out?" Maura suppressed a laugh as she savoured the other woman's expression; Jane was very tired, therefore incapable of stopping her mouth drop open slightly at the speech. _She has yet to mention a husband? _She was in awe at the apparent thought the blonde had put into their futures, even if she was joking. Maura raised an eyebrow, challenging her. Jane coughed.  
>"Jane Rizzoli doesn't back out of a deal, no matter how painful" She laughed at Maura's hurt expression "Hey, kidding. I wouldn't dream of it any other way" They both laughed at the ridiculousness of the conversation, caught up entirely in the fantasy and the joy in the others eyes. "Are you?" Jane questioned seriously.<br>"Mm?"  
>"Backing out? Here is your chance because, come to think of it, we never pinky swore." Maura adopted a look of serious contemplation as she stalked around the detective in a slow circle, silently eying her up and down before coming to a halt in front of her and presenting her pinky. She wore a look of such complete adorableness Jane nearly melted right there.<br>"Life Long Best Friends Forever?" She proposed. The pair laughed, Maura's light giggle harmonising with Jane's deep chuckle as their little fingers joined.  
>"Life Long Best Friends Forever." She vowed. <em>If that's all you're offering, I will take it whole-heartedly.<em>


	11. Chapter 11

**The Recovery **

**A/N: Please don't hate me. This isn't technically an update, but I really didn't like the Chapter 11 I wrote, so I wanted to fix it. Cue rewrite. I promise this isn't a repost, its quite different from the last and like a thousand words longer. Feel free to skim through or just ignore altogether but I would love to see it you prefer it to the last version? A very belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all too :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11 (Rewrite): The Change in Pace<strong>

Maura sat at the kitchen island wrapped in a silk robe, bathed in a halo of morning sunlight. Jane hovered at the doorway; she studied Maura studying the newspaper, a habit that had become somehow more commonplace since their arrangement. She watched her eyes dart across the page at an impossible speed, ever-absorbing more information. The blonde tapped her chin lightly with a long finger, teeth gently tugging at her bottom lip as she raised an article closer in interest. _In my defence someone should be appreciating something this beautiful twenty-four hours a day... My shameless admiration only contributes to like half of that._ Jane nearly groaned at her pathetic inner monologue, hating that she could still feel the ghost of Maura's breath on her neck and the butterflies of playful whispered promises that still danced in her stomach from the previous night. No wonder she hadn't slept.

"Good morning" Jane spoke cheerfully, making herself known; she scooped to pick up Jo and made her way across the room before sitting. Immediately the hand at Maura's chin was sliding the steaming pot of coffee across the island, the other passing the sports pages before clasping together at the table. Jane glanced up to smile at the gesture, immediately praising the light for expertly catching the green flecks in curious hazel eyes. The expression however, made her squirm; Jane knew a cross-examination when she saw one. Eyes scrutinised her as she ran her fingers through untamed hair, before ultimately giving up and securing it into a hasty pony tail. The blonde appeared to be waiting for something and Jane, unaware of what this was, continued to pour the coffee. She slowly brought the mug to her lips, appearing to read the headlines, inhaling before taking her first sip.  
>"You didn't sleep." The blonde said lightly, more accusation then statement.<br>"I slept fine?"  
>"When you get a good night sleep you aren't prepared to communicate with the rest of the world until at least thirty minutes later, and even then 'communicate' is generous. Usually it's more of a combination of grunts and single syllables. I've become accustomed to no more than 'Coffee? Yes. Porridge? No. It's good for you? Pancakes."<br>"God Maura, I'm not that bad"  
>"Oh yeah?" She smiled amused now, "Why do you think Jo is squirming, she isn't used to such early morning displays of affection."<br>"Or she needs to pee?" Jane rose to let the dog into the yard before returning.  
>"The other option being that you woke up longer than thirty minutes ago, and chose not to come downstairs which simply can't be the case as you can't be a wake thirty <em>seconds<em> before searching for caffeine? Which brings me to my earlier question; you didn't sleep?"  
>"I think you'll find that's more of a statement than a question doctor" Maura pursed her lips slightly.<br>"The _question _implied being why?" Jane's insides burned with longing and frustration. She was being criticised by the very cause of her insomnia. She was being asked plainly for an explanation, floundering for a lie. She involuntarily pictured the hundred ways she could answer truthfully, imagining the thousand ways she could reply. The yearning inside her was actually painful, wanting nothing more in that moment than a hint of mutual feeling, the security of knowing she could hear affirmation from the perfect lips that spoke nothing but the truth. It's what she normally dreamt of, what coaxed her into blissful sleep after an impossible day and the reason she never wanted to be woken. She used to be a morning person. But last night was different; so many unanswered questions were left swarming around her as soon as the blonde slipped out of a warm embrace in the upstairs hall and bid her goodnight. Last night left painful pricks of possibility, the idea that something _could _happen, yet the strong belief it never would. She was a coward. A coward left to analyse the evening start to finish, and ascertain that every lingering touch was of pure friendship that would be sacrificed by her own stupidity if she answered the question that still hung in the air truthfully.

A frantic tap on the side window evaporated the suddenly tense atmosphere as both eyes snapped up from their heated gaze and looked to the side window.  
>"Michelle?" Maura questioned, brow furrowing at the woman's apparent urgency as she waved frantically through the window. Maura motioned toward the back door before moving to open it and stepping onto the deck. A pleading tone could be heard and Maura moved aside, allowing a small girl of about five to wander in idly and open the fridge. Jane rose slowly as though trying not to frighten a small animal. She watched the little girl from just metres away completely taken aback. Her blonde locks hung just passed her shoulders framing her pretty features, her cheeks flushed pink from the cold morning air. Her eyes were transfixed on the small stranger as she stretched, straining her little arm up toward the top of the fridge and balancing on one foot with her tongue jutting out in pure concentration whilst the two women talked outside.<p>

"Jane?" she snapped out of her trance at the mention of her name and met Maura's questioning look from the doorway she was leaning against. "…The juice box, top right." Jane walked round the island, obediently reaching for the multi-pack that she could have sworn wasn't there before and removing the plastic, straining to catch the conversation that had resumed outside.  
>"I am so sorry Maura! Ally is at day care, but I've got a meeting in thirty minutes-" Jane realised she had frozen with the pack in hand when she felt confused eyes staring up at her. Jane realised her own confusion was alarming the girl and smiled.<br>"Blackberry or Orange?"  
>"Orange please." The girl replied, smiling back. Jane swiftly pierced the box with the straw and placed in her waiting hands.<br>"Thank you."

Jane turned and fell into her seat before taking a long sip of coffee, praying the caffeine would kick in. The girl pulled up a stool and tried unsuccessfully to balance the juice in one hand whilst hoisting herself up. Maura appeared from nowhere and wrapped her hands easily round the little girls' waist, lifting her onto the stool. She gave her neck a small tickle, eliciting a giggle and a squirm as she removed her scarf and puffy coat. As the doctor hung up the clothes the girl hummed to herself, swinging her legs and awaited her return, completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere that built with the interrupted conversation. Maura returned with a beaming smile, Jane's reluctance to answer stored in her mind for later.

"So Amy, it would appear you have the day off?" Maura inquired lightly as she retrieved her own coffee, leaning against the counter opposite the girl. Her cheeks blushed pink and sucked in as she sucked through the straw.  
>"Uh-huh" she replied after a moment, blue eyes dropping Maura's amused gaze in guilt.<br>"I think Mom probably would have appreciated a reminder that it's Presidents day."  
>"It wasn't all my fault? It's the same day <em>every <em>year" The girl mumbled in defence. Jane scoffed at the small stranger's whit. Maura too suppressed a smile and moved to the girl's curls fondly.  
>"Hey it's okay, no harm done" the girl visibly relaxed under her touch "Just your mom has a lot to think about at the moment, with you, Alicia, and your dad being away."<br>"I know." She nodded solemnly and exhaled, blowing the flyaway hairs from her eyes. Maura smiled knowingly before entering an animated discussion about what the girl had learnt about the President in the week previous. Jane silently analysed this whole exchange as the young blonde animatedly retold the events and remained in awe of the complete comfort and familiarity between the two.

She waited for the penny to drop, for Maura to notice the Rizzoli-shaped elephant in the room, for _anyone_ notice the brunette's palpable confusion at the unfamiliar situation she found herself in. _My friend; Queen of the Dead, Chief Medical examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and Master of social ineptitude, is holding a conversation at complete ease with a human being, that isn't me? And a _child_ no less? _She noted the doctor's pure and genuine interest at the conversation that flew effortlessly.

Jane suppressed a laugh at the oddness of the scene before relaxing into her chair. _So Maura can communicate with children as well as reptiles, dogs and cops? _She shook her head a little at her own ridiculousness. At first she attempted to keep up with the rapid conversation, but quickly found that it was an update in an ongoing plot filled with characters and situations Jane wasn't familiar with. She guessed they weren't finishing any time soon, so instead opened the paper and scanned the contents, waiting for something to catch her eye, before zoning out. Sometime later she sensed a pause and looked up to meet huge inquisitive eyes.  
>"Maura?" the child asked, not looking away.<br>"Yes sweetie?" Jane was momentarily taken aback by the casual term of endearment the doctor used. The girl's unwavering stare finally letup as she leant across the counter, beckoning the older blonde forward. She complied with a smile and leant closer to hear.  
>"Who's this?" She whispered, nodding pointedly at Jane.<br>"Of course!" A look of realisation finally flooded through the doctor as Jane mentally applauded "I completely forgot you two haven't met yet. This is Am-"  
>"I'm Amelia Markham, Maura's neighbour." Jane and Maura shared a chuckle at the girls' formal tone.<br>"Lovely to meet you AmeliaMarkhamMaura'sNeighbour" The girl giggled at this, a beautiful sound so specific to childhood happiness one could only smile in response.  
>"Everyone calls me Amy."<br>"Amy it is, I'm Jane, Maura's friend"  
>"Oh <em>Jane!" <em>The girl nodded in recognition, leaving the other baffled that their unfamiliarity only seemed to stretch one way.  
>"Jane is staying with me for a while." Maura continued.<br>"Like a sleepover?"  
>"Kind of, just a little longer."<br>"I can't wait till I'm big and I have my own house so Stacy can sleepover whenever she likes!"  
>"Stacy? Wasn't she mean to you last week? I recall a jump-rope theft caused some major rift between you." The little girl rolled her eyes, scolding Maura for not being up-to-date in playground antics.<br>"She promised I could play with her new hamster, so I forgave her. It's called Meg."  
>"Ah..." Maura nodded slowly and smiled at the utter simplicity of childhood interactions.<p>

She briefly contemplated how they translated into adult life; fair-weather friends, bullies and playground-politics still ran through every workplace and friendship group. The one aspect usually abandoned come adulthood is the solitary 'Best-Friend.' The idea of one person that you tell everything to, one person you trust implicitly and consider as a part of yourself. She observed that typically the ideal fades; people branch out and adopt a larger network. They learn from getting hurt by the 'chosen one' giving into gossip's temptation and severing the ties of trust, forcing people to confide less willingly, to accept friendship hesitantly. Maura's thoughtful smile turned slightly smug as she looked over to the brunette opposite, eternally grateful to have found that very nature of childhood friendship she admired and had been so deprived of when she was young. She took the opportunity to register how the beauty of the golden early-morning light now faded in comparison to the spectacular effect in had on Jane. From where she sat it skilfully highlighted her flawless features like chalk on a charcoal piece, catching strands of raven hair, drawing focus to the lean muscles in her flexed arm as she reached for the coffee once more.

"Momma will be glad you have some company, she worries about you in this big house alone. I try to tell her that a man lives here too but she doesn't listen!" the little girl continued causing Maura to laugh and Jane to splutter.  
>"Speaking of the man of the house, do you want to serve his breakfast?" The girl nodded enthusiastically and jumped down to retrieve Bass's pre-prepared meal from the fridge as he plodded out from under the table. Jane finally walked round to lean beside Maura, they both watched as Amy's brilliant eyes lit up in excitement as she sat cross legged, tenderly stroking his shell and feeding him leaves.<br>"Maura, you feel like catching me up?" Maura lowered her voice as she turned to the woman beside her.  
>"Michelle doesn't get Presidents day off and forgot that Amy does."<br>"Yeah I got that part… why have I never heard of these people before?" She pressed, now having overcome the shock and left only with the confusion at the portion of the doctor's life she knew nothing about.  
>"I honestly don't know, they moved next-door a few months ago, I thought I had mentioned them?" Maura shrugged and seeing the girl had finished, flashed Jane the 'I'll explain later' look and turned back.<p>

"So, a whole day off! You know what that means?"  
>"Yeah, Momma said you would help me with my homework, it's real hard" Maura pretended to mull it over for a minute as Jane raised her eyebrows. <em>What Kindergartener gets homework?<em>  
>"…Well I was going actually going to suggest the park?" The girl beamed up at Maura. "…But you're right, homework first." She clearly felt cheated but didn't argue, choosing instead to examine the detective again.<br>"Is Jane going to come?" she asked, smiling at the prospect of more people to play with.  
>"Maybe if we ask her <em>really<em> nicely? …Jane?"  
>"Yes Maura?" She played along, encouraged by the girl's delighted amusement.<br>"You don't perchance, happen to enjoy the park?"  
>"Well that depends… is there a swing-set?" Blonde curls bounced as she nodded frantically.<br>"Uh-huh, and a jungle-gym too!"  
>"Well there's an offer I can't refuse!" The youngest blonde beamed up at them both.<br>"Fantastic, so we do homework and then the park. Have you had breakfast?"  
>"Just toast and that doesn't count."<br>"Uh-huh?" The older blonde questioned, raising an eyebrow with a smile "And what does count Miss Markham?"  
>"…Pancakes?" The girl replied after what appeared to be serious deliberation.<br>"Oh, good choice!" Jane said without thinking, waiting for the nutrition facts to spew from the M.E's mouth, but was shocked once more as the doctor laughed and began to collect the ingredients.  
>"Pancakes you say? Well I think you are in luck, Jane taught me everything I know." The girl stared at the woman in disbelief.<br>"Really?" Jane shrugged in a smug manner, leaning back with her hands laced around her neck.  
>"Guilty. I make a pretty mean peanut-butter and fluff sandwich too-"<br>"But let's leave you with some of your teeth shall we?" Maura interrupted with a smile, nudging her playfully. She lifted Amy to the counter by the sink so she could wash her hands in preparation and Jane followed her example; the very definition of 'Calm before the Storm'.

It all happened so quickly.

It began orderly; Jane was named Head-Chef and the two blondes her assistants, obediently weighing and whisking as instructed. It took just one overly-Italian hand gesture at the bossy M.E, just that one flick of flour for the time to freeze, before resuming double time and chaos to ensue.

Ten minutes later and all three sat huddled around a huge mountain of pancakes with even bigger smiles plastered on their faces, in the middle of what appeared to be a bakery crime-scene. A light dusting of flour blanketed the surfaces, 3 sets of sticky batter fingerprints lined the previously sparkling appliances and cupboards, betraying the culprits. As if their appearance wasn't evidence enough, each covered head-to-toe with the very same ingredients that coated the kitchen. It was a wonder there was enough left over to actually produce anything, let alone the feast that lay before them. They had finally calmed down enough to start eating, three forks eagerly digging in. Finally Maura placed hers down and leaned back defeated. Her eyes naturally rested on Jane before choking on fresh laughter trapped in her throat. She raised a trembling hand to remove an egg shell from the raven locks, causing the newly established trio to crease once again in a fit of unified laughter.

Something felt different. Jane watched Maura, completely carefree despite her kitchen being turned into a warzone. She never failed to surprise her. Things _can _change; just don't be afraid to get a little messy in the process.

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><p><strong>AN: I, Calliope-May, solemnly swear never again to upload a chapter I'm not completley happy with. I apologise for any inconvenience and thank you for reading**


	12. Chapter 12

**The Recovery**

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><p><strong>Chapter Twelve: Assumptions<strong>

"Have we forgotten anything?"  
>"Oh shoot yeah, my pacifier and milk is on the counter."<br>"Will you hush." Maura refused to accept the parallels Jane highlighted between the wheelchair loaded with supplies and a pushchair, no matter how often the brunette's embarrassment caused her to highlight it.  
>"Ready Amy?" Propped against the post box with hand on her hip, the little girl nodded, looking much more the impatient-mother than child. Maura bent, quickly clipping Joe to her leash before her head snapped up to the rickety pounding of the wheels streaming too-fast down the ramp, breaks screeching as Jane swung next to the small girl eliciting joyous giggles. The brunette echoed the apparent hilarity the child felt with a challenging smirk to the blonde left behind on the porch. Maura found herself trapped between the desire to scold and clap in equal measure. <em>That's my Rizzoli.<em>

The walk took much longer than usual when taking into account the puppy, child and the chair, but eventually they reached the park beyond the row of trees dressed in fall. Jane took a deep breath as though the slightly frosty tinge to the air revived her weary lungs. Amy's shouts of delight were unintelligible from the distance as she had bounded ahead, racing the puppy half in competition and half in partnership.

Despite the national holiday, the park was mostly desolate due to the still fairly early hour. The women were tugged, laughing from piece-to-piece until they reached the promised swing-set. Once hoisted in and comfortable, Amy swung between the two women like a pendulum, keeping pace of the steady conversation that had flown between the three without significant pause. It would appear any apprehension the girl had experienced initially had dissipated in the fall air. Jane quickly understood how Maura appeared to know her so well, as Amy took great effort to relay her life story for Jane, as though pitying that she was behind on the events, her constant smiles ever-establishing a place in Jane's heart.

Eventually, the girl's tiny form was lifted from the swing, coaxed only with the promise of the sandwiches the doctor had prepared and packed in record time whilst the other two had changed from their flour-coated clothes. Amelia busied herself throwing sticks for Jo Friday, Jane noting Maura's admirable ability to multitask as she set up the picnic blanket without her eyes leaving the child for a second. Maura's eyebrow subtly rose, as Amy appeared to strike up conversation with a passing dog walker, clearly becoming fast acquainted with her huge dog. Jane mirrored the Medical Examiner as she rose and made her way quickly to the child to find her latched around the Newfoundland's neck, much to the amusement of its owner.  
>"She really likes yuh!" The woman spoke to the grinning girl in a heavy Jamaican accent, dark wrinkles creasing round wise eyes.<br>"Look Ma-" The girl grumbled into the dog's shaggy neck before being cut off by her own giggles as the dog turned to licked her from chin-to-forehead.  
>"I can see sweetie, you've made a new friend." Jane again was taken aback by the relaxed approach to temporary guardianship Maura took, expecting her to swipe the girl away from the large, if not admittedly dopey-looking dog.<br>"She's a beauty," The woman turned her attention to the newcomers in front of her, "how old is she?"  
>"Five"<br>"Two" The two responded in unison, Jane answering the typical questions of a fellow dog owner, missing that the compliment was directed at the child, not her dog. The other women laughed as Jane ducked down altogether to pet the dogs with Amy, attempting to hide her blush as introductions were exchanged and the conversation continued.  
>"An' so small far hah age! Meh boys were huge fram conception I swear, I'll bet yuh hardly registered pushing dis little one out" Jane's head snapped up, less in surprise that the woman thought Amy was Maura's child, and more in shock that this stranger was discussing childbirth so flippantly. Suddenly she flashed back to the hushed, yet vivid discussions between mothers at Tommy's playgroup whilst they waited for the little darlings to gather their finger-painted masterpieces of the day. It appeared to her that once women handed in their labour-card, no detail was too private when discussing with other members. With this going through her mind she barely registered Maura's hasty response.<br>"Oh- I didn't give birth to Amy."  
>"Are yuh sure?" The woman laughed heartily, "Deh resemblance is uncanny, she's like your double."<br>"I believe I would remember something like that." Maura smiled back politely.  
>"I'm sorry, I didn't ketch who yuh were?" The woman turned her gaze to Jane who was still waiting for an apt moment to excuse them, never one for small talk.<br>"I'm-"  
>"She's her partner!" Amy smiled wide, standing again, barely taller than the dog at her side and looked between the speechless women in question.<br>"Ah." The stranger spoke finally, brown lips curving into a knowing smile, eyes kind. "Deh wonders of science eh? I better be off now." She gestured to the huge dog who had struggled to its feet and was tugging lightly on the lead. "Yuh 'ave a nice day now!"  
>"Her hair was so pretty!" Amy sighed softly, entranced by the wonders of cane-rowing and she fingered her own fair locks as the woman disappeared into the trees.<p>

The walk home was thick with something after meeting the stranger. Tension? Confusion? Something in desperate need of discussion without the five-year-old's presence, hence why it had failed to dissipate during the picnic or the remainder of the time in the park. The most painful part for both women was not knowing why the exchange with the dog-walker had been significant, or whether the other deemed it so.  
>"Hey Amy, did you want to hold Jo Friday till we get to the house?" The response was immediate, skipping round to Jane's right to take the lead, Amy redirected her babbling from the women to the puppy, wandering slightly ahead whilst careful to keep clear of the roadside upon Jane's request.<br>"That girl is something else huh?" Jane began conversationally, unwilling to address the crux of the atmosphere but eager to ease it.  
>"She certainly is." Maura smiled behind the detective, watching her watch Amy as they walked into the long driveway once again.<br>"So that begs the question why I've never had the pleasure of meeting her before-"  
>"I guess it didn't occur to me that you need be privy to every facet of my life." Maura spoke quickly, thankful for their position meaning Jane couldn't see her face, as well as the Chanel scarf concealing the red splotches she felt brew beneath her chin. Jane bit her lip to stay quiet, gesturing to an impatient Amy that the slow pace was Maura's doing.<p>

Whilst Maura set up Amy with colouring pencils in the living room, Jane carefully folded the chair and returned it to the cupboard under the stairs before putting on the coffee pot. Her long fingers thrummed aggressively at the cool countertop, stilling only when she sensed the Medical Examiner's presence at the door.  
>"I didn't mean that." The blonde continued as though no time had lapsed. Jane blew stray curls irritably from her eyes.<br>"I wasn't prying Maura, just find it bizarre that your best friend who practically lived with you, even before actually living with you, was unaware of this relationship you have with these people."  
>"I know I just- Do you find it unusual that people believe we are in a relationship?" Jane spun at the unexpected change of subject before immediately regretting it. She locked into the eyes of the woman in front of her, desperately wanting to understand her expression and look away in order to conceal her own. Suddenly a wave of exhaustion and dizziness washed over her like a wave, the days excursion and topic of conversation taking their toll.<br>"What brought this on?"  
>"The lady in the park; she believed Amy was my biological daughter that you gave birth to." Maura clarified softly, as though Jane may have misunderstood. "And she isn't the only one."<br>"You're telling me there are more people who believe I acted as the surrogate mother to your child? Oh, pray tell." It dawned on her in that moment that Maura appeared determined pinpoint where they were going _wrong_, why they gave off such a vibe, and any hope the conversation may have incited turned to ash around her.  
>"There was Giovanni-" Maura continued, unwavering and apparently oblivious to Jane's sudden need to change the subject.<br>"We tried hard to convince him-"  
>"The barista in CoffeeClub, the Valet at the Rotunda theatre, your Mother-"<br>"My Mother?" Jane repeated in furious disbelief, fingers clawing at marble behind her.  
>"The Precinct."<br>"Okay, you cannot act as though 'The Precinct' is a single person Maura. Are you telling me that everyone I work with think we are together?"  
>"More or less?" Maura recoiled at Jane's biting tone, a part of her registering her own inexplicable disappointment at the reaction.<br>"And you have done nothing to explain otherwise?" Astonishment escalated to blind anger as Jane's hopefulness had fizzled out and in its place was rage.

Previously, her desire was two-fold. To love Maura, and for those they loved to accept that. The injustice of one portion of that coming true without the benefit of the other was crippling.  
>"You're missing my point Jane,' Maura replied quietly before easing the door behind her, doing little to lessen the caged feelings brewing within Jane's chest. "I didn't tell you about the Markhams, because they think we are a couple." She looked up to take in Jane's bewildered expression before continuing rapidly.<br>"You're right, you practically lived here, we had dinner most evenings, left together most mornings and they noticed. I was initially unaware of their assumptions but I suppose my description of our relationship did little to suggest otherwise. I also made the mistake of referring to you as my 'partner' in relation to our work in conversation with Amy one day, which I am sure she repeated out of context at home. Michelle's husband Daniel is in the force and currently overseas, so I offered what help I could in watching the children on occasion or picking up their groceries from the store. Suddenly it was too late to correct her without severe embarrassment on both sides."  
>"How did you lie without the hives breaking out?" The whirlwind of emotions that tore through Jane's body could have physically brought her down had she not been anchored for the response to this question that appeared to be the only thing that mattered and time ground to a halt.<br>"I found I never had to lie, to the outsider our friendship greatly resembles a romantic relationship," Maura admitted. "I called her at the hospital to request that she feed Bass and ended up expelling my grief to her. It would appear my reaction somewhat mirrored her own when Daniel had been wounded on a previous tour. Whether or not the minutiae were correct, I can't deny that her reassurances spoke to me deeply, as though she truly understood." Maura continued to yammer in spite of herself, leaving Jane to answer the unspoken question that possessed the ability to crush her: _was Maura intentionally claiming the only one to appreciate her grief was a wife nearly losing their love?_

Ordinarily, the human body is capable of conducting the heroic endeavour of keeping itself alive in near-silence, ever pumping, controlling, regenerating with little more than a soft exhale and a regular heartbeat from its core. In that moment however, it would appear even Jane's body appreciated the magnitude of Maura's words and paused, allowing them to fill her completely. Jane felt all her life-force ascend to her head at dizzying speed as though attempting to fuel the sustenance needed to dissect, analyse and respond. Ultimately, shrouded by bitter acceptances of truth and newly void of hope, the feat proved too much, and for the first time in her life, Jane welcomed the blackness that crashed onto her shoulders as she slipped out of consciousness and to the floor.


End file.
